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stardust holiday
chronicles of the chronically (and voluntarily) bedridden

Sarah Jessica Ricki?

30 June 2006
I had a dream last night about the study, or at least I think it was the study. In reality, well it was a dream so I use that word loosely, it was a weird cross between the study and a new reality show on TLC or something. I was there, so was George, Erin, and a lot other people trying to get into the study. There were all the typical reality show participants there too; the ass, frat boy, and flamboyant gay man, the list could go on.

So there were about 12 of us who pasted the plethora of medical and physiological tests, and we were all left in a large room with bright chairs in a circle. We had to sit there until the big announcement came of who was going to be moved to a room with a bed as a study participant and who just had to go home with nothing. The chairs were like the ones lined up in neat rows in the cafegymatorium, there were orange and blue ones. Basically, it was an elimination game. No one could leave the room, or get off their chair for that matter, until enough people were eliminated. Hours later it’s down to the knitty-gritty, and I have to pee, bad, to the point of tears almost. Everyone else in the room is asleep so I make a run for it. I don’t know why there weren’t any camera crews, or any precautions to ensure no one snuck away, but it’s a dream. A flying pig can become camera phone. So, anyway, I run to the bathroom and I see Ricki coming through the crowd, only she isn’t Ricki, she’s Sarah Jessica Parker. So I run to the bathroom do the thing that we all do there and then I try to beat her back to the room and I’m just about to make it when I get caught, fuck I think, I’m out. This, of course, is the big incident everyone knows is going to happen. It was leaked by some cameraman early in the show, people on line have been talking about it for weeks now, and this is where the show stops for the day. It doesn’t recap until the “live finale” weeks later.
In a big dramatic, and very long and drawn out way, the names of the winners are called with all the fanfare you’d expect. There are tears and fights and all that jazz. Then they call my name.
“Rebecca. Thank you very much for your time in this show. (Then there is a log reality show pause) We ask that as this time you take your things. (Another even longer long pause) And go to your bed.” Now this causes huge fights, I through water on some Goth looking guy who is at least 18 inches taller then me who get pissed off that I’m in and he’s out. Security rushes me away to my bed and so begins the second saga of “Bed Rest”. Up next Trading Spaces, College Dorms.
Now I have no idea how I got in, even though I cheated, but it’s a dream it has no rules, really. That and my alarm went off just as Sarah Jessica Ricki was going to give the explanation to the upset viewers at home over the shows shocking decision.
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