stardust holiday

reflecting pool

2007-02-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

hi! it's been awhile, hasn't it? it has in fact, been over a year since i got into bed last february.

and wow, since then, i have (in no particular order)

met astronauts/higher ups in NASA
met with tons of doctors
knit in simulated zero gravity
been suspended 60 times (give or take)
got 30+ full body massages
met a lot of really nice volunteers/nurses/people involved in the study
got tons of internet publicity
been on CNN twice (live!)
gone through physical therapy
had muscle biopsies! ouch!
had MRI's, CT scans, DXA scans, blood tests, balance tests, strength tests, tests of patience
learned how to walk all over again
played amazing rock n roll shows
met awesome rock n rollers
went to a shuttle launch
canoed in the middle of the night to learn about bio - luminescence
bought an imac and an ipod
realized the importance of friends and being a friend
realized most of my "friends" weren't friends
realized when i wasn't being a friend (and tried to change)
performed no less than 5 random acts of kindness
saw/met/hung out with some of my favorite bands
found the joy of listening to albums while doing nothing else
taught myself a lot of knitting techniques
saw jenn for the first time in three years (it was almost like nothing had happened!)
found out my brother was in the navy
found out my mom was in iraq
went to my first "festival" type concert
made beautiful posters
turned 22
discovered and fell in love with new bands
made christmas better than the year before
got 12 years of birth control "installed"
had a way fucking far out new years
joined a union, got a raise and a "promotion"
learned how to play a decent game of poker.

i had no idea what i was really getting into when i got into that bed. but what i got out of it was a heightened self awareness, paired with a complete severing of reality. weird combination. it took me a long time to get back to everyday living, physically and mentally. i got a lot more: understanding of: my sleep habits, my body, all bodies, gravity, my lack of discipline; revelations on love, life, friendship, family, scientific achievements, deep depression, my priorities and the occasional lack of ordering among them.

people still ask me about it and i'm almost embarrassed of how much it takes over conversations when it comes up. if people at the next table or standing a couple feet away hear about it, they say "that was you?! tell me about it" and then it starts all over again.

looking back, i would most definitely do it again, but i'd do it very differently.

1. i would have saved more money before i went into the study. granted, this wasn't really an option for me, as there was little more than a month between the beginning of testing and getting into bed. whew! whirlwind.

2. i would have been far more disciplined in my exercises. when i got out of bed, i HURT. everywhere. for weeks. i would have had a much easier time relearning how to walk if i'd been more diligent with my stretches.

3. i would have followed the sleep schedules a little more closely. although, to be honest, my sleep schedule has always been totally screwed up, so it's hard to fight something i've somewhat come to accept.

4. i would have backed up all of my files. regularly. in multiple places. i lost weeks of work on album/poster artwork (for an album that was never released, but i digress) because i didn't save it regularly, and didn't burn it to a backup disc.

5. i would have been more scientific in my documentation of the study. most of my stuff is day to day babble, how i'm feeling, etc. i should have been more specific on how my body was reacting to the study.

6. i would have stayed off the internet more. jesus christ on a pogo stick, i'm a net junkie. i lost days to shit like stumbleupon or notcot.org.

7. i would have finished more projects. see above. i wasted so damn much time during the study.

8. i would have set more realistic goals. or, rather, been more attentive to the goals i set. when i got out of bed, i felt like i'd wasted three months of my life that i could have used to further myself or at least accomplish SOMETHING.

9. i would have read more books. again, see above. i could have done quite a bit academically in three months of mostly uninterrupted time.

10. i would have requested fewer volunteers. when it started, i was lonely as hell and wanted tons of people to come in and talk to me. by the end of it, i was frustrated because i couldn't get anything finished, because there was so much extra stuff to deal with in my schedule.

11. i would have learned to appreciate my loneliness. being alone does wonders for your powers of reflection, and self-awareness. by the end of the study, if i hadn't had so many distractions, i probably could have gotten a lot farther in my goals. but, to be fair, i met a lot of really nice people through the volunteer program at the cleveland clinic.

12. i would have completed more of the physical therapy afterwards. it was really hard for me to get over to the east side in the days after the study, either not being able to drive a five speed, or the (what felt like an) incredibly long walk to the bus stop. so i used that as an excuse and didn't get a lot done.

13. i would have been smarter with my compensation. i'm not going into specifics, but holy cow, it went fast.

but, as always, there are things that i don't regret as well. by no means would i have changed:

1. how close mike and i got during the study. absence makes the heart grow fonder? absolutely. but i also learned to love my time away from him. if only so i'd get more excited when he came around.

2. the number of things i learned about my body. wow. the body's an incredible machine, and i have first hand evidence. everything from my toes to my bladder, my stomach to my brain, everything worked a little bit differently in the head down tilt position

3. the awesome people i met through the study. from astronauts to volunteers, people were so cool throughout the entire thing.

ok there's a lot more i'm sure, but it's late and i'm tired. if i think of anything else, i'll let you know.

sorry it's been so long!

erin

Home

2006-10-27T09:37:00.000-04:00

Well folks, I/we are home. I slept in my own bed last night, went to the pantry and grabbed a snack at 10:00 pm. Burshed my teeth in a sink, washed my hands in a sink, ordered food off a menu, and so on. Being "out" is great and life is just as it was when I left. Although we did change apartment while I was in bed. The new one is great, smaller then the one I left, but I like it a lot more.
I'm going to PT in an hour or so to get it out of the way for the day and who knows what will follow.

Last day

2006-10-22T09:58:00.000-04:00

It is our last full day in bed. Would I do it again, yes. Would I do anything differently, without a doubt.
I'm glad I brought at much stuff with me as I did, even though I brought more then what I needed. Being as overly prepaired as I was allowed me to almost never need to look for something to do.

I had hoped to update this blog all day, but fell short sometime before noon.

Today has seemed like any other day really.

Tomorrow, I walk.

2006-10-21T08:53:00.000-04:00

Two days left to go. Oh. My. Goodness.

almost...

2006-10-16T21:55:00.000-04:00

A week from now, I will be upright. I can't wait.

2006-10-09T11:40:00.000-04:00

I've started to drop a little bit of weight, on some days I'm down to 116 pounds. Normally this would be great, in bed, however its anything but. Our weight needs be consistent through out the study. I'm just getting rather tired of the food It is becoming harder to eat and I'm getting full faster. To help bring my weight back up, I've being given extra dessert. Today, for example, 3 large rice crispy treats. Yesterday, 2 pieces if pound cake. Also, today I got scrambled eggs, something that I wasn't expecting but was pleased with nonetheless. That is, at least, until I tried to eat it. The eggs were scrambled so hard I could cut them info perfect squares and stack them. Yes, I played with my food.
As of this writing there are; 13 days left. 9 runs, 6 massages, 1 more turkey dinner/pizza lunch day, 2 episodes of Lost, 2 weekends. And a partridge in a pear tree.

Even closer

2006-10-05T22:47:00.000-04:00

We are getting even closer to the end of this experiment, on Monday there will be just two weeks left. I'm begining to wonder, down the road, how these past few months will affect my life. Am I going to be a different person because of it? How much understanding about the world or myself have I gained? When I am an old woman, how will I look back on this part of my life?

Update

2006-10-03T22:06:00.000-04:00

I guess it's been a little while. My absence is mostly due to the fact that there's really nothing new that I can think to write about. Obviously I'm glad we're almost done, and I'm very excited to return to my normal life. I've started really missing it, and while that should make these days harder, it's just making me look forward to it more and more. The next 19 days are nothing compared to the 65 that have already flown by.

2006-10-03T19:43:00.000-04:00

I want to be able to take a nap, or at the very least sleep in as late as my body will let me. The regiment of going to bed 11:00 and waking up at 7:00 every single day is starting to get to me. Each morning I feel just a little more tired then I did the day before. Never so tired I can't function, but tired enough to wish I could hit snooze once or five more times.
My goals are coming along, not as well as they could be, but I also had no idea how busy days would get while in here. I'd like to finish one or two more knitting projects, write a killer personal statement for grad school, and read read read.
I'm going to start sending most my stuff home soon, only keeping a few book, yarn, and clothing. I came into this worried there wouldn't be enough to do, as we near the end I worry how am I going to finish everything I want to do.

Getting there

2006-09-29T08:56:00.000-04:00

I think I finial reached my breaking point with this study. I'm ready for the entire thing to be done and over with. I'm looking more and more forward each day to the end, to sleeping in, to having complete control over what I eat and when. Food that didn't bother me at first, makes me angry to see now. One in particular, the fried fish, I had to ask not to be served again.
All of this isn't to say though that I'm ready to leave now, as that isn't the case. The end, is just so close, just over three weeks now, that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and as the days pass the light is getting brighter and brighter.

update

2006-09-26T19:42:00.000-04:00

Update, update, update. Not much new is going on right now, same old same old for the most part. I'm starting to really look forward to the end though. I can't believe how fast time went, and now, there isn't even a month left to go.

there should be a title here

2006-09-22T08:52:00.001-04:00

I just noticed how long its been since I updated, wow. Things are still going well, we got some nifty NASA gifts and a few posters. One, in particular, is ubber cool, as it shows the official mission patch from every NASA space mission ever.
Earlier this week though, my ZLS running time was cut short. I'm allowed to run as much as the allotted 20 minutes as I can anymore. From now until the end of the study, I run for five minutes, rest for five, run for five, rest for five, and so on. I'm upset, but I'll get over it. We're still going to try to challenge me a little by increasing the running speed.
Other then that, things are going well still. Mind you I can't wait to be done, but for the time being things are just fine.

Unproductive

2006-09-16T22:11:00.000-04:00

To say that Saturday was unproductive would be a great understatement. I did nothing but play on line, update my myspace playing games, and watching TV. The only thing I did that I was supposed to do, was stretch. I hope I'm able to actually do something tomorrow. I have to. No TV other then Sunday Morning, until prime time.

vortex

2006-09-15T18:39:00.000-04:00

The good news is that time is still flying by, maybe faster than ever. 37 days to go, and out of 84, that doesn't sound like much at all. The bad news, however, is that I was incredibly unproductive this week. No reading, very little writing, almost no studying Scrabble. The internet can really suck you in.

I'm off to waste some more time...

Halfway plus some

2006-09-13T16:15:00.000-04:00

Our half way point came and went in the shadow of the 9/11 5 year anniversary. I spent some of the day reflecting on the past five years, recalling where I was at various points throughout the day as the events played out on TV. The shower, the lobby of my dorm, sociology, my dorm lobby again. The class, as was the case all classes that started after 9:00 that day, was not in session. That day, and the days that followed, are beginning to get a little foggy. I can no longer recall what I wore that day, what news show I was watching when I found out, what residents I told about the attack and who told me details I hadn't yet known. What I do recall is being fixed on my TV for several shorts periods of time throughout the day and the days that followed. Wanting to know everything, afraid to know anything.

I've slightly changed my mindset with the ZLS over the past few days. I no longer run until I don't think I can run anymore. I know that I can run twenty continuous minutes on this thing. I may be tired, sweaty, and my legs may ache, but this is only 20 minutes. It worked well Monday and Tuesday. Today, I ran for 7 and 13 minutes, but only because my shoe came untied. I don't know if this is going to become habit, but I feel so good when I finish a longer run, I want to try to keep it up.

Halfway

2006-09-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

It definitely feels a bit inappropriate to be celebrating something on September 11th, but it just worked out that today is our halfway point. 42 days down, 42 days to go. I've been watching the coverage all morning and it's really bumming me out, and I keep thinking the same thing that everyone must be thinking: "Those 5 years went by quickly." The whole thing still seems a little bit surreal. I was in New York City in March of 2005 and I saw Ground Zero, and it just didn't seem real. It was like seeing a celebrity in person and noticing how different they look. Some things are so huge that they just jam my system and their significance doesn't register.

Five years ago today I was on my way to take an exam in philosophy class at Cuyahoga Community College. The first plane hit while I was driving, but since I was listening to a CD and not the radio, I had no idea. Once I got to school I noticed a large crowd of people gathered around the TV sets in the galleria. I knew something was going on, so I joined the crowd and saw a large building with a hole in it, and I couldn't tell which building it was. I asked someone near me what was going on, and he told me that someone had bombed the White House. I told him that it didn't look like the White House to me, and he said, "They'll show it in a sec." It was about time for class to start, and when I got there our professor told us that class was cancelled for the day. I went back to the Galleria and watched the second plane hit. Being so far away from a small TV set, and getting mixed stories from the people around me, I decided to go up to the newspaper office and check the computer there. While I was trying to piece it together, my advisor walked in the room. He looked visibly shaken. He greeted me, and I asked him what was going on. I still knew very little. Before he could tell me much the phone rang, and it was for him. I only heard his side of the conversation, which was "Hello?" "Other than totally devastated?"

Obviously, five years later I think I mostly understand what the attacks have meant for our country. Without getting too political, I will close with this: Whatever measures our government is taking, and for all the people that were killed on that day in New York and since then in Afghanistan and Iraq, I hope it all means that we don't have to see anything like this happen again.

a little note to the bedridden:

2006-09-10T14:31:00.000-04:00

i've been fighting a seriously awful sinus infection fora couple weeks now. you guys don't need it, i promise. i've been miserable and wanting to come in, but... you'll thank me later for NOT coming in. i miss you guys, hope you're doing well, and happy halfway point on monday!

love,
erin

2006-09-07T21:46:00.000-04:00

I don't get hooked up to the treadmill and think to my myself I'm going to run X minutes today. Beyond my assigned prescription of 4 minutes followed by a rest, I have no goal of running any particular amount of time. I try to clear my mind as best as I can, and just run. There are moments where I'll close my eyes and wrap myself in the rhythm of my steps as they hit the rubber and metal that make up the ZLS, and think of nothing but the next step I need to take.

Day 3?

2006-09-05T09:41:00.000-04:00

My birthday and went without incident on Sunday. The was no cake, though I did get a piece of apple pie, no presents, or song. It was, more or less, a day just like any other. There will be plenty of time for fun and food when I get out of here, but it seems odd that a day that often holds so much importance passed with little notice.
My TV viewing has also gone down. I was very good at limiting the amount I watched when I first got here, generally reading, knitting, and/or playing online until prime time TV came on. The I would watch two or three hours of reruns of sitcoms and dramas I'd not seen before. Somewhere around week three though, I realized how much time I was wasting online doing nothing of any importance, and I turned to the TV to make up for it. Bad idea. It soon became this endless cycle of two mindless time wasters, often steeling my time at the together.

I made a resolution this weekend to do a lot more reading and knitting, I have to make up for my mistakes of the past few weeks. There were so many things I wanted to do while taking part in this study, but don't have much to show for it yet. I've read one book and started and completed two knitting projects. The blanket I've talking about before and the sweater was finished last night just before bedtime. A belated birthday present to myself.

The ZLS is also going well, my personal record is 13 minutes of continuous running followed by break and then 7 additional running minutes and 4 minutes of a cool down walk of 2 decreasing speeds. To a lot of people, I know 13 minutes isn't a long run or a lot of physical activity for that matter, but to me, it is an accomplishment 27 years in the making. That 13 minutes will soon become 15, then 18, and 20. Before I know it, I'll be counting the miles instead of minutes as part of a new morning or afternoon run. I'll start with 2 miles and work my way up until I can push myself to run a 5K, just over 3 miles. This seems to be the most commonshort distance in the running world with respect to competitive races. I have no intention on becoming an elite runner, as I don't think I'll ever become skilled enough to be a viable candidate for a prize. Any race I hope to run is just for my personal glory. Maybe I'll start a collection of free t-shirts and water bottles.

Day 36

2006-09-04T18:10:00.000-04:00

Things have been going pretty smoothly. TV viewing is down, productivity is up. Friends have been coming to visit, and before I knew it there's only seven weeks left till we get out of bed. I've begun thinking about what I'm going to do when I'm done, and I think I've come up with a plan that will yield maximum satisfaction. I'm looking at some possible cities to move to and I think I have some leads. Of course, any decisions I make are still subject to seven more weeks of consideration.

Every time we hit Monday at 11:00am, that means another week has passed. I judge how fast time passes by the meals. Today we had French Bread Pizza, and even though the last time we had that was ten days ago, it seems so much more recent. In less than a week, we'll be halfway done.

Creepy

2006-09-03T14:33:00.000-04:00

I was board this afternoon so I decided to look at the webpage of one of my former high schools, Pioneer in Ann Arbor, MI. I was a bit taken aback that my choir teacher and theater teacher were still there, but got over it quickly. Both programs were above average when I was a student back in the mid 90's, but have surpassed anything I could have ever expected from a public high school. The choir recently won a Grammy for being the 2006 National Signature School. The theatre department in recent years has performed large scale productions of; Tommy, The Elephant Man, Hair, Oedipus Rex, Beauty and the Beast, Les Miserables, and coming this year, High School Musical. I wouldn't be surprised if the rights alone to some of those productions surpass the entire theatre budget of most school. Not that this is a bad thing, its wonderful if students get the chance to work on a world class production like that. Check it out. If things are now like they were then, the students were in charge of just about everything from set design and building to lighting and costumes.
Things got weird though when I was looking at the production pictures for Hair when the song Age of Aquaious came on TV for non-Hair related reasons.

2006-09-01T17:51:00.000-04:00

On Friday, for the second time since getting here, I ran for 10 continuous minutes on the ZLS. Nearly a mile. The more I run on it, the more I become a fan of the sport. It can be hard at times, always sweaty, and there are moments I just want to stop and rest, but I push through all of it and make it to my personal goal. I try as hard as I can not to count the minutes or seconds when I'm up there, usually I'll recite the alphabet slowly to myself (forward and then back), I'll count the steps I take until I loose track of where I am and am forced to start the count over again. Today, of all things, I sang Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Even though it was all in my head, the beat and words became so clear and in sync with my pace, it seemed for a few brief moments that the entire room could here my song.

Even though it can be tiring and uncomfortable, the feeling I get when I finish a run that long, is awesome. It's just this euphoric sense of accomplishment and pride that makes me want to run for longer periods of time.

I should be done with the sweater tonight or sometime tomorrow. I'm excited to finish because it is my first sweater, and it means I can move onto the next project. A have some extra wool and hope to make a bag or purse.

Food, glorious food

2006-08-29T17:49:00.000-04:00

For the first time in a long time my body hurt this afternoon from running. Also, for the first time ever, I didn't feel like eating lunch. I tried to eat as much as I could, but became full very fast leaving an entire sandwich, chips, and a rice crispy treat. I ate a lot of my dinner, but still left more food then I usually do. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I'll be up for more food then.

After running the other day my right arm broke out in a huge rash. A nasty thing to deal with, but most of it went away after a quick washing.

The sweater is coming along, but I haven't made much progress in the past few days. I wanted to have it done by now, but in bed it is very easy to get sidetracked.

Day 25: Look Through Any Window

2006-08-24T19:05:00.000-04:00

So this is the view from my window. Becca's right next door to me, so her view is pretty similar. As far as scenery goes, it leaves a little to be desired. However, the only time I really look outside is while I'm eating. That little orange thing on the roof to the left is a windsock, so if I can't be outside in the wind, I can know which way it's blowing. The landing/takeoff pad for the life flight chopper is just beyond that, so I get to hear/see it a few times a day. Inside the circled area are the only trees I can see. So that's how I get to watch the fall start to happen, in those trees way off in the distance, across Carnegie Avenue. It's my favorite time of year, and though I'm a little bummed that I'll miss the beginning of jacket weather, it'll still be nice when I do get out, just in time for Halloween.

Been battling vertigo for a few days. I had to cut exercise short on Tuesday and skip it altogether on Wednesday. It's a lot better today, after a few doses of Antivert, and I got through exercise today without incident.

I finally finished my first book, I Am Charlotte Simmons, by Tom Wolfe. I can't say it wasn't great, but I do wish it didn't occupy me for a whole month. I'm starting tonight on Lake Wobegon Days by Garrison Keillor.

In other goals, I've been studying lots of 7-letter words for Scrabble. there are 1,219 of them in the group that I'm studying (Type II 7s, which are the words that come from high probability letters [ADEGILNORSTU] but don't come from any of the top 100 bingo stems.), and I'm doing them 100 at a time. I really hope to have them under my belt by the beginning of October.

Finally, a note to those of you who have sent e-mails: The firewall here at the Clinic, for some reason, does not allow us to send e-mail to AOL addresses. So, if you've sent one to either of us, we're not ignoring you. We're just unable to write back.

Not so sweet sweater

2006-08-24T09:15:00.000-04:00

A few nights ago, just before I went to bed, I pulled out my sweater. Stitch by stitch, row by row it became nothing more then two large piles cream colored yarn. I was fooling myself really, there was no way I could have ever made it fit properly.

Running/walking on the ZLS is getting easier, almost too easy, and this isn't good, Unfortunately, unlike exercising "in the real world" where we can run farther and faster as we craft our skill, here, there is only so much we're allowed to do. Maybe in the end, post bedrest, its a good thing. The better I do here, the better I'll be running out there.

Friday was a great day. It was my favorite meals, egg sandwich, pizza, and compleate turkey dinner, I ran eight minutes straight on the ZLS, and I got Tic Tacs. That just made my day.

The rest of the weekend was so so, my sweater still isn't done and I'm getting angry at myself for not compleatly understanding the pattern.

2006-08-23T21:32:00.000-04:00

This sweater of mine is without a doubt going to be too big on me. Every time I start to freak out though,, I remind myself that the yarn I'm working with is 85% wool and I can felt (shrink) it. I'm just worried about over doing it and have it end up being to small. I just get mad at myself when I look at what I've done already and see how huge this thing is. I checked the gauge but thought it was going to be on the smaller side, so I went up a size. As things tend to go, I have a feeling my next project is going to be too small.
I know some of my posts have been boring and not all that study related, but I don't have that much study related information to update. I'm still doing well, but going to the bathroom still sucks, I want a home cooked meal, a pack of Tic Tacs, chocolate, and the ability to get up. When things get tough, I just have to tell myelf that this is something I wanted to do, I knew ahead of time that parts of this were going to be hard, I have to relax and let go and allow other people to take charge for a few months.

Any dream will do

2006-08-23T07:40:00.000-04:00

Last night I had an interesting dream. I was out of the hospital, but still in the study and still on a strict diet. How that came to be, I don't know. Anyway, I was at university but the had one of those office setting coffee pots where everyone wants a cup can have one. Unlike traditional office coffee, this was a very high quality brew, with several different kinds of sugar and sugar like substitutes, and a milk selection that is comparable to Starbucks. Then there was a large selection of Torani, cookies, chocolate, and other assorted snacks. Nothing compared to the 20 year old powered coffee most schools and hospital waiting rooms have.

The chocolate was on the snack side, but I dropped a few small pieces in my drink and then added a little extra 2% milk before running off to class. Strange though, the building was just like the largest building that was actually on the campus I attended, except there were lockers and a bell.

I go to my locker, just a few down from the door to my next class, when the bell rings. Crap, I thought, this professor hates it when people are late. I end up grabbing nothing because I can't find the notebook I bought for this class.

I run into the classroom and no one notices that I'm late so I go to my desk/computer to find someone is already sitting there. That is when it hits me, I've had a dream like this before, and the teacher gave everyone assigned seats. I approach the person as the lesson is starting but end up sitting in a seat near it to find my notebook. This is when I turn on my computer, it sill works in DOS, and take my first sip of coffee. It was so good I could taste it, and it was good. It wasn't until the cup was gone did I start to freak out. I just drank chocolate. I can't have chocolate in the study. Never mind I also can't walk, drink coffee, or leave the Clinic in the study, none of that mattered in this dream, the big issue was that I had the chocolate.

Strange.

Hello again, Pip

2006-08-22T19:02:00.000-04:00

I finally started reading again today but am finding it hard keep the book open for more then a few minutes at a time. I guess it doesn't matter all that much, as long as I finish the book in the next week or so. It isn't really a hard book per si, it just takes some adapting to get used to the language.

The sweater is going well, provided I have enough yarn, it will be done by Monday. I'm a little worried about knitting some of it. I understand the bulk of the pattern, but am getting confused with the neck instructions. When I started the sweater I cast on what I thought was enough, but after a few rows it looked to big, so I frogged the inch or so I did and started over again, with the same number of stitches. Smart, right? I decided in the long run to keep the extra few inches, the stuff I'm working with is mostly wool, and I may want to put something on under it for extra comfort.

Even though this project is going to be a bit of a challenge, it is the first sweater I've ever made after all, I look forward to finishing it. If nothing else it will give me even more reason to try something even harder. There must be at least 6 or 7 other patters in just one of my knotting books that I'd like to try.

I'm finding that the ZLS is becoming less and less of a challenge much faster then I ever thought it would. I'm already asking to run/walk for longer periods of time, the weight doesn't seem as heavy as it seemed just two weeks ago, and I have a feeling I'm going to ask to go faster one of these days.

As expected, food is my biggest issue here. Most of it isn't bad, it just isn't what I love to eat. Or if it is something that I normally love, turkey for example, it isn't prepared the way I like it, with the kind of turkey, bread, or condiments I'm used to. There are just some places that I go to for lunch that make it so perfect, anything else is blah.

I've been spending a lot of time listening to pandora.com when the TV isn't on. It is really great actually, all you have to do is type in the name of a song/singer/group you like, and with in seconds it plays songs like the one you requested. Best of all, it is free, the sound quality is great, and the selections it has played for my have been exactly what I was in the mood to hear.

Goals!!!!

2006-08-21T09:51:00.000-04:00

I'm still not being as productive as I could be, but I did finish the baby blanket I've been working on. A picture will be posted as soon as I can get one. I'm also started my second knitting project, a white sweater with purple skull and cross bones on either arm. Obviously, this is something I won't be able to wear to work when I get out of here, but it will be ready for chilly weekends.

I've been getting so caught up in knitting, personal issues, and the randomness of the internet among other things, that I have yet to read those first 200 pages of Great Expectations. I'm sure I'll get around to it sooner or later.

Today marks 3 weeks in bed, and while that is a lot, the end still seems to far away to start counting down the weeks/days left. I want to look at what I've done already, instead of looking months into the future at what's left. I'm not even really looking forward to my birthday in two weeks. If I just look at it as if it were any other day the lack of chocolate cake and great dinner may not seem as bad. Not to mention, I'm planning a great trip to L.A. in November that will more then make up for it.

As for more study specific issues, I'm still doing fairly well. I get sad every now and then though. I would love to pig out on pizza, chicken wings, and breadstix. I miss my bed, apartment, and walking. I miss Stitch and Bitch, shopping, and a bathroom and everything that comes with it.
I have dreams once in while where I'm walking, and I feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't, like I'm breaking a big rule or something. Physical, other then a bit of a back ache here and there and running related issue, I'm doing well.

...Then comes Sunday morning

2006-08-20T11:02:00.000-04:00

Another lazy weekend. Even lazy for someone who lies in bed 22 hours of the day. Did some reading yesterday, and played a lot of Scrabble. I didn't realize it until now, but I've also been watching the news a lot more since I got here than I have in the past year or so. This John Mark Kaar guy will no doubt haunt my nightmares for days to come.

Visits this past week from some good friends kept me in high spirits. Not that I would have been low otherwise, but having people come visit helps me keep my eyes on the prize. I know I haven't been forgotten, which makes me comfortable enough to lie in bed for another 9 weeks. I know they'll be there when I get out.

Lately I've also been having strange food and drink cravings. There are a lot of foods I would normally eat that I can't have in here, and only over the past few days have I started thinking about them. I know my first meal when I get home will be Las Enchiladas Verdes from Cozumel, my favorite Mexican restaurant and one of my favorite restaurants overall. Another thing I've been wanting is a bloody mary. I'm not much of a drinker, and I only had my first bloody mary a few weeks before coming in here, but I would pay large sums to have one right now. It's not even the alcohol that I want, it's the strong taste and spiciness that I haven't found in any of the food I've been fed here.

I'm going to stop teasing myself now, and get back to my reading.

The Summer of George

2006-08-15T13:22:00.000-04:00

I have a new dispatch up at McSweeney's today.

I've just finished lunch, and I'm really feeling this morning's exercise in my thighs. I'm going to try to get some writing done today, and maybe study some Scrabble a bit. Time to get crackin'.

*Note: Previously I had the wrong link up there. It's been corrected.

Video!

2006-08-14T12:35:00.000-04:00

Here is a video, shot this morning, of me exercising on the ZLS. This is what Becca and I get to do every weekday.

Take Your Time/Hurry Up

2006-08-13T17:10:00.000-04:00

Day 14. Time is flying by. As of tomorrow morning at 11, I will be 1/6th done with the study. That may not seem like a lot, but I was gearing up for something that was going to take forever. I'm starting to think I set my sights a little too high as far as goals go. I don't have as much time as I thought I would. For example, if I were on pace with my reading goal, I would have 5 books in the bag by tomorrow. Instead, I'm barely halfway through the first one. Granted, it's almost 700 pages long, but I should be way ahead of that mark. I'm purposely not turning on the TV until 8:00.

Lots of visits in the past few days, including my friend/college roommate Jimbo and his girlfriend Claire, my good friend Smotey, Mike and Brian Dortley, Erin, as well as my parents and my grandmother. Visitors are a nice way to break up the day, and it's good to see people from the real world to remind me that there will be a real world for me to return to in a couple months. The only strange thing is that the mood always seems a bit somber, because hospital visits are rarely fun. I don't think it sinks in with everyone that I'm not ill, just horizontal. Still, there isn't much to do in this room as far as entertaining goes. Well, dinner is here...

Strange as it seems...

2006-08-12T07:54:00.000-04:00

I've been kinds anti-blogger for the past few days, and for no real reason either. This past week went relatively fast and I found myself looking forward to the weekend where I'll be able to rest. Yes, rest. Strange as it may seem, same days are so busy, I don't get a lot of time to myself to blog. People are always in and out of the room, there is lots of food to be eaten, water to be drunk (3000 ml +), and, well, several bathrooms breaks due to the aforementioned water.

Going to the bathroom here is, well, an event that sometimes involves three different members of the medical staff. There is no way to really get into it with out loosing tact, so I'm going to skip the details.

When I do get free time, I wonder around online watching You Tube and various other things, reading, knitting, and watching TV. I just finishe a poorly written "chick-lit" book who's title I won't even bother to repeat. Next on my list, Great Expetations. I hope to have 200 pages read by Monday. Though, I've never read it, I already know the ending.

The meals here are more of less repeating at this time with just a few modifications here and there. I was really excited about today, bagel day. When I got it though, it was rock hard having been microwaved. So my breakfast consisted of raisins, an instant breakfast, an orange, and cranberry juice. More then enough to tide me over for 4 hours until lunch, but small food pleasure mean a lot to me, and the lack of bagel bumbed me out. Luckily, an extra was found.

P.S. Do you know that the word blogger on Blogger shows up as a spelling error on spell check? Same can be said for th word blog.

Horizontal Summer Camp

2006-08-08T18:35:00.000-04:00

Finally settled in, I think. I've been able to start concentrating on the things I came here to do. I've been hammering away at Tom Wolfe's I Am Charlotte Simmons and studying some new bingo stems in Scrabble. I got through my whole intended exercise today too, which was nice.

One thing that surprises me is that I haven't yet had the impulse to get up, or even sit up. Once I was down, my body accepted it. Hopefully that means that I have nothing but smooth sailing to look forward to. The first 9 days really flew by. I almost feel a sense of urgency, like I have to hurry up and start getting stuff done before the time runs out. Maybe that will go away around day 20 or so...

The first weekend...so far

2006-08-06T11:57:00.000-04:00

Even on Day 7, I am still waking up and thinking, "where am I?!" before it settles in. That realization is getting less and less disappointing every day, and that's called progress. Erin said the weekends were really boring and lonely, and they are, but it's exactly what I needed after a pretty turbulent first week.

Out of all the things that will happen in the real world while I am in here, the only one I wish I could have gotten to experience is the U.S. Scrabble Open. It started yesterday in Phoenix, and, though I doubt I could have afforded to go, I think I would be faring pretty well if I were there. I've been following the tournament online, though, and paying close attention to the progress of my friends from the club. Most of them have won 3 or 4 games out of the first 7, but it's still early in the tournament. I called up Scott, my Scrabble mentor, to wish him luck before the second day of play began.

One of my best friends, Mike, came to visit yesterday and brought some DVDs for me to watch.

And it made me realize how little I've been taking pictures. Here's one of Becca and I before we went to bed. I think she's on her tiptoes.

2006-08-06T11:49:00.000-04:00

I have so much I'd like to do while I'm here, that I feel rushed to get any one thing finished. I'll be reading, when I remember I could be knitting the blanket I'm working on, when I remember something I wanted to look up online.

With one week down I think the whole thing has finally set in. Now, I don't have the desire to get up, but I will have split second flashes where I think of something I have to do/want to do but then instantly remember where I am and what I'm doing. Oddly enough, I had a dream last night where I got up out of bed. Alarms went off, a disco ball fell, there was a laser show. weird.

Lunch: PB&J an orange and celery. Yummy
Dinner: Chicken and pasta, pound cake, salad, and more corn then any one person could eat in a sitting I think it was like two cups worth.
Yes, I am on my tip toes in the picture below. My over 6 foot tall younger brother got the height in my family.

Day 6: On the upswing...

2006-08-05T13:46:00.000-04:00

Things are starting to get better. I can look at food without gagging, and I have actually eaten some of it. I still can't concentrate on much aside from Scrabble, but I am going to try reading something later today. I've been watching a lot of TV, which I was hoping I could resist, but I'm just using it to get me through to the time when I feel like writing more than a few paragraphs at a time. Apparently I have had some kind of stomach bug that I must have caught before coming in to the Clinic. If that's so, I think I am over it. Yesterday's bath/massage/visit from Erin catapulted my mood back to where it should have been. Also very unexpected and welcome was finding out that Pat from Scrabble club had bought me Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon Days. It arrived yesterday at my parents' house and they're bringing it tomorrow. Thanks, Pat!

So hopefully by this time next week I will be fully "settled in," and ready to start being productive.

splish splash

2006-08-05T08:02:00.000-04:00

I wanted to take a bath today, a simply request usually. Today, however, it turned into such an ordeal that once it actually started, I wanted it to end. To make a long story short, they couldn't get the bath inflated for a long time. On the upside though, I got a chance to shave and wash my hair, two things I needed to do badly.

I'm very glad that George is doing better and hope to have him kick my ass in Scrabble soon.

Breakfast: Scrabbled egg, pears, slice of cheese, and and english muffin. Everything excepet for the pears were turned into a sandwich.
Lunch: French bread cheese pizza, salad. The pizza, per usual, was a frozen dinner.
Dinner: Cauliflower in a cheese sauce, butter, roll, turkey, stuffing, gravey, and mashed potatoes. Normally a great meal, but this version was so-so at best.

hello, how are you, how do you do

2006-08-04T11:59:00.000-04:00

I've given up waking up at my wake up call, instead of before of it, as I woke up early again today. Its only minutes, and I doubt it makes a difference in how alert I am through out the day, but first thing in the morning it leave me with a small sense of incompleteness. I'm told to sleep until 7:00 but am up earlier then needed.

Did some knitting today, some reading, and playing online. I still feel fine more of less, though my shoulders and back ache a little.

Twa come to visit today, which was wonderful. The meeting lasted only a few minutes, she had to get to work, but it was nice to have her with me.

Erin also stopped by, bringing a plat. I felt like such a dork, I asked her how she was doing 3 times in the 2 minutes she was here. How've you been, been up to anything, how are you. looking back I just have to shake my head at myself. I had just got back from the ZLS and was about to get my massage not to mention Twa had just left moments before. I think it was just an overload of people and activity in a short period of time.

Breakfast: About a cup of cinnamon Toast Crunch, milk, 2 cranberry juices, banana

Lunch: Veggie burger, mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickles, carrots, celery, crystal light

Dinner: Mac and cheese, microwave meal, dinner roll, a tiny pad of butter, crystal light, apple pie, and broccoli, AND, vanilla ice cream. Though the ice cream wasn't too good, tasted like foam.

Good morning starshine

2006-08-03T08:26:00.000-04:00

What? Again with the waking up before I have to with the sunrise and the dewdrops, and all the little bird-i's. Ok, so I can't hear birds from my room, but I couldn't think of anything else to put there. When I wrote it, Jackie Mason saying it came to mind. That, or the scientist from The Simpson's.

This morning; another visitor during breakfast, this time from behavioral health, checking up things to make sure all is well. She saw that I was knitting and is going to try to bring needles who's size is better suited for the project I'm working on. That is if I keep working on the project. I have 6 110 yard skiens of Alpaca with a Twist, 4 red and 2 white. I want to make a baby blanket, but am open to other options or suggestions as there is no baby to speak of to whom I can bestow said blanket.

Before lunch more people came to say hello. This time from NASA, both Cleveland and Huston. The same people also came to watch me jog/walk on the ZLS. They all thanked me, and I would assume George also, for doing this and explained how important our contribution is going to be for NASA and space travel as a whole. The entire meeting made me feel really important.

Running on the ZLS is hard, even walking can pose a challenge. I can't stress enough that it is nothing like a regular treadmill. Imagine yourself on a standard one at your local gym. Now picture yourself wearing full rockclimbing gear, in spandix, in a room full of onlookers, having little choice over what speed you are going to run and for how long. Now they aren't trying to kill me, if I really want to stop or make adjustment to the speed, it can be arranged. See the picture? You are sweaty, the cuffs are chafing you everywhere because they are too tight or are falling to high or low because they are too loose, you can't see all of your surroundings because of the helmet you have on, someone else has to bring you water every time you need it. Not to hot, is it? There are 2 pulleys hooked up to each arm and leg tugging while you are trying to walk what used to be forward. Now, try to imagine yourself doing this wearing a rock filled backpack that weighs literally as much as you do. You can feel every lump and bump and know there is only so much that can be done to alleviate the strain. Now, what about doing it on your back, suspended in mid-air. Not to easy, is it?

My calves hurt like crazy and I keep sliding down the harness until it starts to poke and prod at my arm pits. So, after every walk/run, usually 3-5 minutes at various speeds, three people get to pull and push me upward a few inches. As hard as it may be though, I really push my limits with this. I tell myself; if I can walk 3 minutes without much problem, I can easily go 4. If 4 is only a little challenging, why not press onto to 5 before wanting to quit.

So far though everyone, myself included, is baffled at how well I'm adapting. I have a bit of guilt that George isn't doing as well as I. Things with me are far from perfect though. I still have some pains here and there, but am still able to function rather well considering. The biggest issue I'm having this week actually has nothing to do with the study and is to personal to tell the whole world.

Breakfast: One slice wheat bread, one hard boiled egg, milk, orange juice, butter, granola, blueberries, and vanilla yogurt.

Lunch: Apple sauce, broccoli, a lean cuisine, again, of fettuccini alfrado, fruit like water drink, and 2 pickles. Why pickles with pasta, I do not know. But they are one of my favorite foods, well condiment I guess, and a small comfort in such unique surroundings, so I quickly ate both.

Dinner: Chicken (dry again), mixed vegetables, a handful of peanuts, plain cheese cake, and sweet potatoes. The meals could be worse, but today's combination of foods is just odd. Peanuts?

3

2006-08-02T18:00:00.000-04:00

I woke up a few minutes before my wake up call. Again. Groggy and very sleepy still I had a few wet and soapy wash cloths brought to me that allowed me to wash my face and give me a quick pick me up.

At this time, I am still adjusting to everything really well. So well in fact, I'm not getting my hopes up. Sooner or later my body is going to have to realize what I'm doing to it and that I'm not going to stop doing it for very a long time. Then, I have a feeling, the revenge will come. Other then a back ache, for which I have a heating pad to help elevate, and some slight stuffiness, I'm doing swell.

The biggest complaint I have is the food. It isn't the best, but it isn't bad, I've had worse. Also, its hard to eat when people keep bothering you. We've all eaten with other people before, but this is very different. Putting cream cheese on a bagel is an effort, and not very pretty. I have to pay attention to how I am laying down, and make sure I'm not to high as to break protocol, but not so low its not possible to eat. I only have full use of one arm and about 50% use of the other. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the visitors, they are all coming for my benefit and comfort, but I just want a chance to start and stop my meal when I want.

ZLS today was a bit harder, I was pulling into the treadmill at 75% of my body weight verses yesterdays 50%. In the middle of the regiment Twa came by, and that just made my day. After my walk/run she met me back in the room, helped with a bath, and we had a chance to talk.
Then was the massage. The most amazing thing ever.

Breakfast: Orange, cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Milk and cranberry juice.

Lunch: Carrots/cucumber with ranch dressing, chicken with rice, another lean cuisine.

Dinner: Fried fish, a little bigger a deck of cards, 6, count en 6, tater tots, milk, and Cole slaw, with cherry crumb cake.

Day 3: Adjusting

2006-08-02T12:27:00.000-04:00

The first few days have been a little rough for me. Day 1 was easy enough, because it hadn't really hit me yet that this was real. That hit when I woke up on Day 2. My body is taking it pretty hard. My appetite has diminished greatly, but some meds are on the way to hopefully nix that. Exercising is easier than I thought it would be, but I've been really tired during both sessions.

I know I can't look forward to the end, because it's just too far away. Instead, I'm looking forward to all the little plateaus that I know are coming. I'm looking forward to the time when I can wake up, feel rested and eat breakfast. I'm looking forward to being able to focus on my goals. I'm trying really hard to keep my mind off how I feel and stay trained on the reasons I wanted to do this in the first place. I guess that will all come with time, and I know I've got plenty of time.

Day 2

2006-08-01T12:31:00.000-04:00

My first night in the clinic went well considering. The bed isn't the most comfortable, my body isn't used to the angle, and it is far more narrow then the bed I've slept in for a while. I woke up several times in the night, my body almost falling off the bed, but once I repositioned myself sleep came easy. Tonight they are going to place the bars on either side, almost like the ones you have on the top of a bunk bed, to help.
So far, things are going just as expected. I'm a little stuffy, craving junk food, my body is slipping down the bed all the time. This morning I awoke with my pillow nearly off the bed.
Working out on the ZLS today for time first time since going to bed, wasn't that bad. I'm surprised at how much more I liked the jogging workouts verses walking and hope my enthusiasms doesn't die when the exercises get longer and more vigorous. I've never been a runner. In school I was always the first to start walking during the 1 mile run. I was also the first to give up on sit ups and push ups. Don't even ask about the pull ups. I can still remember just hanging there, with the entire class looking on, pulling and pulling as hard as I could to no avail. I would simply hang. I can still remember my tiniest girl in the class would get on there and just fly. She could do far more then any one in the class. And it was great too, because she was so modest about the whole thing. She was modest about everything though. In middle school she took math and science at the high school, was in band, got big roles in the school play. She was even in Les Miserables in The Netherlands, where she lived before coming to Michigan. She was proud about all of her accomplishments, who wouldn't be, but didn't feel the need to make a big deal about any of them.

Over all though I'm doing well. My head is stuffy, but I'm getting very used to the angle and once my entire body gets familiar with this feeling everything should zero out.

Breakfast
Four waffles, the small toaster kind you can pick up in the frozen food section of Giant Eagle, a small pad of butter, fruit yogurt, 2 % milk, a small cup of apple juice, it almost looked like a tiny bowl you get when you go out to eat and ask for something extra "on the side". Oh, and Purple grapes. There were so many people in and out of my room though it was hard to enjoy any of it. Everyone said they don't mind if I eat with them in the room, but doing so was hard as single one of them needed to speak with me about one thing or another. It is hard enough having to eat on my side, answering questions about my mental health and well being while doing so is even harder.

Lunch
Tuna salad, 5 crackers, they were somewhat Ritz looking, but without the buttery taste people like so much , raw carrots, spinach raw, stemmed broccoli, fruit cup, and crystal light. The raw veggies were also served with a great asian sesame dressing. This too was hard to enjoy. The transport team came a few minutes in to take me to the other end of the hospital for the ZLS. They just kinda stood outside in the hall walking back and forth. I was told not to feel rushed, but in that kind of situation it is hard.

Dinner
A few ounces of very dry and tasteless chicken, rice, mixed vegetables in a sweat and sour sauce, I think. There was also a fortune cookie and peanut butter on whole wheat. The spread come in one of those small one use dishes, and I was so hungry at the end of the meal I liked the inside of the package.

Sunrise/sunset

2006-07-31T17:35:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning with the sun. My cell phone/alarm clock, sang the Cingular Sound at 5:30 pulling me from my bed, covers, pillow, and lovers arms for the last time in 3 months. Tired, I drew away from my warm bed and familiar covers and slid into the coolness of my slightly air conditioned bedroom. I took in that moment for all it was for as long as I could. Fully realizing that it was the last time I would leave my bed, any bed, until nearly Halloween, weekday trips to the ZLS notwithstanding.
I showered, soaking up the warmth of the water and letting the steam fill my lungs, open my pours, and wrap my body in comfort. I wished I could have stayed longer but there were still a few things that had to be packed, and Twa needed to shower and get ready for the day also.

Once I got to the clinic it was just one thing after another, and before I knew it, I was in bed already. Twa stayed for as long as she could, kissed me good bye and left to try to work her way through the maze of the clinic. I'm still waiting for the big bang of things. The moment where all of me fully realizes what this is.

So far, though, so good. The small of my back hurts a little but as soon as I turn to my side it stops.

I keep, ever so slowly, sliding down to the head end of the bed. It is different scooting down without using my feet. Going to have to train myself, hard, not to do that.

All in all though, no real susprize. The only "complaint" I have, is how blocked the server I am on is. Some things I can understand being restricted, but I like myspace and stumbleupon. com. This is something, we are told, will be fixed. Hooray.

Lunch; Turkey on whole wheat, yellow American cheese, potato chips, a rice crispy treat (yummy!), and black berry flavored water.

Dinner; Cheese ravolli and a salad with balsamic basil dressing, and added cucumber slices. I list the latter separate because it is listed separately on the lid of the salad.

Day 1: In the beginning...

2006-07-31T12:01:00.000-04:00

This is my first official post from in bed. It's final now, it's irreversible, it's real. My head is six degrees lower than my body, and I will not be upright until October 23rd. Maybe it should sound ominous, but the first hour in bed has flown by, and I'm still pretty psyched about this whole thing.

This morning I woke up at about 6:45, and my dad and brother said goodbye, as they were both headed to work. I gathered some loose ends and I was ready to go when my sister picked me up. I said goodbye to Mom and we were off. I thought I might be quiet and pensive on the way to the clinic, but Holly made me feel pretty comfortable and at a few points I forgot where we were actually going. I'd have to say that the peak of my nervousness thus far was standing around in Lerner, waiting to take the rest of my belongings up to the room. Once I got up here and started putting stuff away, I got comfortable. Eleven O'Clock rolled around, and we snapped one last picture of us, upright for the last time until the end of October. I got into bed without making too big a deal of it for myself. You can't prepare enough, so you might as well just get in and wait for it to hit, which it definitely hasn't yet.

Right now the overwhelming feeling is hunger. We were told not to eat this morning before we came, so when lunch comes in a few minutes it will taste wonderful.

From here on out, updates will be plentiful and a little more substantial.

I don't have much to say right now

2006-07-29T11:29:00.000-04:00

I don't have much to say right now, but wanted to make one last post before I went to bed on Monday. I just can't get ocer the fact that this is really happening, and soon. I have almost everything set at home and am going to Target to get a few last minute later things today. Sunday, strange as it may seem, I think I'm going to relax. I know being in bed is going to be stressful at times and I want one last day of just me with my energy in my home.
I am greatfull for the chance to do this. I am greatfull for all the help and support I have received from everyone around me. I don't think I could have asked for it to go any better then it already has. I am greatfull for a partner who supports me fully. For a job that sees this as the one in a lifetime opportunity that it is, and is going to do it's best to allow me to come back without consequence. I am greatful I get to run everyday. I am greatful that this list of thanksgiving can go on.
Next time I post it will be from the bed.

Day negative six

2006-07-25T11:27:00.000-04:00

Strangely enough, despite a trip to the clinic yesterday for bloodwork and other reasons, I find myself forgetting that I'm lying down on Monday. This study has taken up roughly 70-75% of my brain since January when I first heard about it, and over the past few days I have caught myself thinking, "Oh yeah, that starts Monday." I am mostly excited, but also a little nervous. It's on par with an interview for a job I really want. But, as I have said before, everyone I have met that is connected with this study is beyond nice, beyond accomodating. Call me naive, but it seems like it could be smooth sailing for the most part. I'll deal with the hard parts when they come.

I am "moving in" to my room tomorrow. So far I just have a box of books and a box of other assorted items I don't think I could live without for three months. I haven't really even thought about how I'm going to decorate my room. I was joking around with a couple of the interns a little bit ago about how I wanted to have a beach theme. I wanted to cover the floor in sand and have a bunch of inflatable palm trees in the room, always playing reggae music and wearing Hawaiian shirts... of course I don't think that's reasonable. I was impressed with the way Erin made her room look so homey and comfortable, so I might try to go that route too. Non-flourescent lamplight is a definite.

Having trouble ending this one... so I'll just say that I'm going to pack this week and weekend with fun and activity, and make sure I lie down on Monday in a good mood.

You can't always get what you want

2006-07-22T15:32:00.000-04:00

They say you can't always get what you want, and this is true quite often in almost every aspect of life. Then again, there are times when you can get what you want. Even when said "wanting" is completely random and no one has any control over what you get. On Wednesday I found out what group I was in for the study and am ecstatic. I got to the Clinic to drop off the ADR I had worn all day Tuesday and my stomach was in knots. I sat for a few minutes and talked with one of the interns about how I'm going to decorate my room. I'm thinking wrapping paper wallpaper and construction paper rings and stars. Something to cover up the white white walls. Ricki came in and I saw it right away. A little envelope, like the kind you mail the gas bill in was in her hand under the notebooks she was carrying. The green Cleveland Clinic Logo in the upper left, and a small index card inside. She handed it to me and I felt like I was 7 and about to open my first Hanukkah present. I held it in my hands, nervous as all get out, and looked down. No need to even open it, I could see the large capital T clear as day. I was an exerciser. I forgot what T stands for but I remember being told prior that was the letter to look for. For 5 days a week, for 12 weeks, I get to run for a few hours a day. I couldn't be more thrilled. I know I won't feel like that everyday, but I have to tell myself that running is something I get to do, not have to do. Now if you want to get technical, I do have to do it, but I think you know what I mean.

I am very out of shape. I seldom work out, and when I do, I generally put in a minimal effort and gain no real or noticeable benefits. This will give me the chance to jump that hurdle. I'll be in a room with 3 or 4 other people, all of whom will be pushing me to work my hardest and do my best. Being in this group will give me more to do, it will give me less time to watch TV, longer interaction with other people, and, most importantly to me when I get out of bed at the end of October, getting back to "normal" will not be as hard. Instead of having to gain back muscle I will just have to get used to walking again. I really hope to keep running a few times a week when I'm done. I've always admired people who get up n the morning, run 5 miles, and then go about their normal day and get ready for work/school. I look forward to the high people get from running and even if I have to join a gym when I'm done. I will continue to run. Not only will the bedrest project in itself be life changing, but the daily running, I hope, will also change my life for the better.

For the most part, I am all set for bed. I have a lot of yarn, a long lost of books, and most of the other things I want to do, can be done online. I went to Foot Locker after work on Wednesday and bought my shoes. They didn't have the one's I picked out and posted here, but I like the one's I got even more. An ultra light weight white and silver with a hint of mint green.

Since George summed up the ZLS pretty well, I'm not going to post a lot about it right now. But I will say this, it is really cool and I can't wait to finish the training for it. So far I've only had one day of it, and was being pulled at 50% body weight. When I first pushed off with it, the weight took me aback for a moment, but I got used to it right away.

I can't believe this is my last week. I wake up every morning now with the realization that in a few days, that will literally be the start of my day. Everything that I do will be done from that position.
This post is long enough, I'll stop there for now. I don't have Internet at home right now and my next post could be from bed. Wow.

Not much longer...

2006-07-19T14:53:00.000-04:00

So the final preparations have continued. I've started moving all my belongings out of my apartment and into the spare room of my parents' house. I've been shopping for comfortable pants and gym shorts to wear while in bed. I've been taking down my caffeine levels, going for lots of drives with the windows down, checking out books from the library, taking longer showers, eating all the food I want.

The other night was when it really hit me that this was happening soon. I drove to Super KMart in Brookpark at about 11:30 pm to buy some gym shorts and toothbrushes. The windows were down, and I was listening to Yes' Close to the Edge album (which would probably make my dad proud). It had been a really hot day in Cleveland, but it tapered off into a great night for driving. I felt kind of lonely, but probably only because I was alone. But I walked around Super K for a while and realized that in two weeks I wasn't going to be able to do any of this. I won't be able to leave the bed, let alone go driving at 11:30 at night. The good part, though, was that I didn't care. When I get out, it will be October, an even better time for driving at night, and I have a feeling I'll have a better appreciation for that kind of thing.

McSweeney's

2006-07-14T11:51:00.000-04:00

In addition to this blog, I'm going to be writing weekly dispatches for McSweeney's. Whereas this blog will be updated several times daily while we're in bed, the McSweeney's dispatches will be a little more crafted. The first one is up on the main page today. Please take a moment to check it out.

In ev'ry job that must be done There is an element of fun?

2006-07-12T20:34:00.000-04:00

As much as I may complain about my job, it does have its good points. Today, however I quit. More specific, I gave my notice. To my surprise to went quite well. As a matter a fact, I may be even be able to come back post study. There are a few small details that will have to ironed out when the time comes, but there is a good chance I won't have any problem. This is a huge weight off my shoulders. As optimistic as I may be in most situations, there are a handful where not only do I think the worse, I have nightmares about the impossible. This, for example, had me thinking that I would tell my boss I was leaving and I'd be fired on the spot. Then, with no last paycheck to cover incidentals and bills while I'm gone, I'd have to quit the study and get a temp job or work in fast food. Needless to say, that didn't happen and I really had nothing to worry about. Silly Becca.

Now, I don't have a 100% guarantee I can go back, but I feel less worried about leaving the study with no income to go back to.

Oh, Megan, any books you have that I may borrow, would be great, thanks. I'll be at the meeting Tuesday if you want to bring them by. :)

ZLS training, Day 1

2006-07-12T09:56:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was my first day of ZLS training. Obviously, walking on a treadmill mounted vertically takes some getting used to, as does the load. My exercise routine is determined by those 4 days that my walking was monitored with the ADR unit. Basically they're compressing a day's worth of walking into an hour-or-so long routine. This means jogging. They use air pressure to pull me to the treadmill at a force equal to my body weight. Yesterday, to start me off, they used 50% body weight. So I was only pulled at about 85 pounds, but it felt like 400. It's going to be tough to get used to, but the feeling is unlike anything else. It's very strange. I'll try to get some video and post it here when I do more training.

Hey you, you want to read my goals, try my goals!

2006-07-09T19:04:00.000-04:00

Ever since I started the interview process for the study I've been keeping an ongoing list of of goals. Just random things I'd like to with with more then 1000 hours of free time on my hands over the 12 weeks I'm going to be in bed. Here is a list of a few of them.

Become a better speller. You will soon find, if you have not already, I'm not a very good speller. It is something that I may joke about once in a while but it is also something that can be painfully embarrassing.

Improve my typing speed by 50%. Sometime in my first week in bed I'm going to take online typing test from a few different webpages and average the speed and accuracy. Whatever the total is I'm going to try to improve it by 50%.

Create a plot outline for 5 young adult books. I've always, even today, loved young adult books. I don't expect to write 5 books while in bed, but writing the outline for a series is possible.

Make 5 squares a day. I, like Erin, knit and crochet. I'd love to make a blanket using scrap cotton, creating squares of various different sizes and textures that all fit together in the end. Granted, it may turn out to be the ugliest blanket on the planet, but it will be all mine. Not to mention, I will gladly sent the piece of fug to You Knit What.

Read 25 books. This is made of of 5 "chicklit" books, 10 books from classic literature, and 10 books from the American Library Association's most commonly banned books. The latter will be read from September 23-30. I recently found out that that is Banned Book Week 2006. Anyone want to join me? I'm going to read the ten books most commonly challenged. Seeing as some are short children's books, if I have time more books from the top 100 will be read.

Listen to more NPR.

Spend one hour journaling a day. Not just here though. I'm also going to keep a personal journal not open to the public.

Memorize all 194 countries (latest count according to the UN), location, capital, leader. This I think is going to be the hardest one of all, but also one of the most important.

Take an online class. I don't know what class yet, but I'll figure that out soon enough.

Write a personal statement for graduate school. I fell in love with this program, and I have to write a personal statement about what diversity means to me as a part of the application process.

Knit a sweater. I have 5 skeins white of white yarn 1 pink, blue, and purple. More then enough for something cute. I, of course, have more then 8 hanks of yarn, but this 8 is dedicated just to the sweater.

Learn a language. Now I don't intend to become fluent in one, but spending a few hours a week listening to language CD's will help me become familiar with one.

There will be a few more as time goes on, but this is what I have for right now.

I forgot to add a title AGAIN.

2006-07-09T18:22:00.000-04:00

I went to see the Devil Wears Prada today. It was a really great movie too. I just can't believe that the girl from The Princess Diaries went topless in her last movie. What did Julie Andrews say?
As I was leaving Tower City I stopped in Lady Foot Locker just to look at running shoes. You know, just in case. *crosses fingers*.
I also got a most of the cloths I'm going to need for the study, a semi new wardrobe of sorts, for just 3 bucks an item.
I picked out the shoes I may get if in deed there is a need to buy a pair next week or the following.

I'm less then thrilled at the brand, but the shoes are just what I was looking for.

2006-07-09T12:48:00.000-04:00

Woke up at 8:00 this morning to get to the clinic for my 2 hour long MRI. There were 4 done; right leg, both legs up to my pelvis, left arm, and then my spine. Ten seconds into the second one, I had to pee. Bad. Needless to say the second it was done I jumped up and asked for directions to the little astronauts room. Well, not really. I actually looked at the doctor and let out a whimper of "I have to peeeeee". Leading me out of the room he pointed down the hall to a sign, which, sans glasses, was a block of fuzz to me. Second later I did what I had to do and was back on my back. This is the last "pass/fail" thing we have to do, but no one anticipates any issues. I, and George also, have been probed from head to toe a several times, if something we wrong with either of us, one of the initial tests would have caught it.
I did my first day of ADR on Friday and I can't wait to get it over with. Mainly because I want to know what group I'm in. The first two people to do this were both in the control group, both participants were men. In the second group, both were women and one was a control and the other was an exerciser. In this group, seeing as there is one male and one female, it would be nice if both were exercisers, but I have a sinking feeling that I'm a control, so much in fact I'm resolved not to be to disappointed if I am. There, however, is no pattern to this. Everything is random, and the fact that George is an exerciser doesn't effect me whatsoever, as everything is separated between men and women anyway.

I can't believe this is going to start in just a few weeks. There are days were I have to stop and ask myself if I'm crazy for doing this. Then there are other where I can't wait. I'm giddy with excitement.

In the end though, I know some days are going to be hard, and getting out of bed is the thing I'll want to do most in the world. But I have a strong mind and a whole hell of a lot of will power. Not to mention the support of my friends, family, and study staff.

Now if only I can wean myself of Pepsi/Coke. I know if I don't do it soon I'm going to have a killer headache for the first few weeks of bedrest. The caffeine withdrawal combined with the headache I already anticipate from of all the fluid in my body flowing to my brain won't make the first few weeks easy. I should give up the stuff anyway, so unhealthy.

THE EXERCISER

2006-07-07T20:29:00.000-04:00

The card was pulled yesterday, and the card said that I get to exercise.

I'm going to keep celebration to a minimum until I know whether Becca has been selected as an exerciser or not, but I am very excited. This means that I'll come out of the study in pretty good shape, probably the best shape I've ever been in. My fate has been sealed...

I went to Parmatown Mall today to pick out a pair of running shoes for the study. Either NASA or the Cleveland Clinic is footing (pardon the pun) the bill, and after trips to 5 different stores I found a pair that was relatively inexpensive and very comfortable.

It was the first pair of running shoes I had bought in probably 10 years, since my athletic days came to an end. Hopefully this will start me on a program that I'll stick with and I'll be able to run more than ten feet without having to stop and catch my breath.

I've got my fingers crossed for you too, Becca...

Ten D-Cell Batteries

2006-07-05T14:40:00.000-04:00

Just 12 hours after celebrating my nation's independence, which I did by eating McFlurrys and watching Seinfeld with some close friends, I found myself enslaved once again. My master is the Pedar unit that I am required to wear today for ADR (Ambulatory Data Recorder?). It's my last of 4 days with this thing. Here's a picture of me wearing it.

It doesn't look so bad, but included in that black pack is a cartridge which holds 10 D-Cell batteries. That's the only setup possible to power this thing for 12 hours. The computer is connected to insoles in my shoes, and the pressure that I put on my feet is turned into data, which is collected to determine how much I walk in a normal day. This, in turn, will decide how much I should exercise, should I be selected as an exerciser. I find out tomorrow whether I will spend 84 days without using my legs at all, or whether I'll be exercising daily and turning my fat into muscle. It's funny, though, how badly I want to exercise in the study when I can't bring myself to even go running on the outside.

One of the tricky things about preparing to spend 84 days in bed is deciding what I need to wean myself from and what I need to get while I can. I've definitely been taking longer showers that usual, knowing that I'll be taking unfulfilling baths and wipe-downs once I'm in the clinic. One thing I should be phasing out is caffeine, and I haven't been doing very well at it. I can go a couple days without coffee, but pop is hard to avoid. Later on I'm going to the grocery store and I'm going to buy a case of bottled water, to get myself used to drinking 2-3 liters of it a day.

Along the same lines, I've made a mental list of things I want to do before I go to bed. I already knocked one of them out on Monday with a trip to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. I hadn't been there yet this year and needed my fix. Here is a picture of me trying to befriend a goat at the petting zoo.

Next on the list is a trip to Cedar Point.

go/no-go?

2006-07-04T09:48:00.000-04:00

so far an 80% chance of go today. keep your fingers crossed and have a happy 4th of july!

-siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-

2006-07-02T12:11:00.000-04:00

no-go day one due to a CLOUD. it's not any better now, infact, it's a lot worse today, weather wise. we have to leave TOMORROW, no matter what. mike doesn't want to be driving home on the fourth of july, and he's got to go back to work wednesday.

but our friend Ben came through with some really close viewing passes. he used to live in cleveland, but moved down here to work at KSC.

-sigh- i hope this shuttle goes up today. otherwise, we're going to miss it.

hopefully i can get a hold of my brother too. i didn't get to see him thursday in charleston.

one word: blargh.

[edit: wow, big change of pace. launch was scrubbed for today, and rescheduled for tuesday, but i think we just made a group decision to stay for the launch on tuesday, go to the kennedy space center museums and stuff tomorrow, canoeing in the canal behind ben and colleen's house... sweet! but we won't be home until thursday now, a full week vacation. whew. ]

Bedrest Study FAQ

2006-07-01T15:04:00.000-04:00

What is this study studying?
This study is to gain a better understanding of bone and muscle loss during periods of inactivity.

How many participants are there/will there be?
This study will have 24 participants total. There will be 2 subjects at a time for 12 sessions.

What kind of food do you eat in there?
We will be eating "real" (i.e. non-hospital) food. The participants are asked to fill out a food questionnaire, denoting their likes and dislikes. That info is given to the dietary staff, and ten different meals are created. Meals repeat every ten days.

Are you getting paid?
Yes. We are not permitted to disclose the exact amount, but we find it fair.

Can you get out of bed?
Not really. We leave our bed every weekday to go to the lab, where we are suspended. The subjects who exercise are gone for a couple of hours, and those who don't exercise are gone for about an hour. We are horizontal for the entire time we are out of bed. Other than that, we are in our bed for 22-23 hours a day.

So you're horizontal the whole time?
Not really. We are in head-down position, which means that our heads are six degrees below our feet. This is the closest simulation for microgravity that can be attained on earth.

Call for Questions!

2006-06-30T22:24:00.000-04:00

So George and I, and Erin too if she wants to add anything to it even though I haven't asked her about it yet, are going to compile a Q&A of sorts about the study and what its like be a part of it. If you have a question, any question at all, about any part of the study, here is your chance to ask it. If you think is it silly, to personal, gross, or anything, feel free to ask anyway. We are going to compile a list of your questions and our responses Stardust Holiday and will keep it updated as time goes on. Obviously, since we have yet to actually "go to bed" some questions can't be answered as of yet, but we will keep you posted on them.
We will do our best to answer as many questions as we can, but we want to hear from you. Are you curious about food, reasons why we are going this, family support, qualifications, seriously ask anything. Look for start of the list coming soon.

Sarah Jessica Ricki?

2006-06-30T00:19:00.000-04:00

I had a dream last night about the study, or at least I think it was the study. In reality, well it was a dream so I use that word loosely, it was a weird cross between the study and a new reality show on TLC or something. I was there, so was George, Erin, and a lot other people trying to get into the study. There were all the typical reality show participants there too; the ass, frat boy, and flamboyant gay man, the list could go on.

So there were about 12 of us who pasted the plethora of medical and physiological tests, and we were all left in a large room with bright chairs in a circle. We had to sit there until the big announcement came of who was going to be moved to a room with a bed as a study participant and who just had to go home with nothing. The chairs were like the ones lined up in neat rows in the cafegymatorium, there were orange and blue ones. Basically, it was an elimination game. No one could leave the room, or get off their chair for that matter, until enough people were eliminated. Hours later it’s down to the knitty-gritty, and I have to pee, bad, to the point of tears almost. Everyone else in the room is asleep so I make a run for it. I don’t know why there weren’t any camera crews, or any precautions to ensure no one snuck away, but it’s a dream. A flying pig can become camera phone. So, anyway, I run to the bathroom and I see Ricki coming through the crowd, only she isn’t Ricki, she’s Sarah Jessica Parker. So I run to the bathroom do the thing that we all do there and then I try to beat her back to the room and I’m just about to make it when I get caught, fuck I think, I’m out. This, of course, is the big incident everyone knows is going to happen. It was leaked by some cameraman early in the show, people on line have been talking about it for weeks now, and this is where the show stops for the day. It doesn’t recap until the “live finale” weeks later.
In a big dramatic, and very long and drawn out way, the names of the winners are called with all the fanfare you’d expect. There are tears and fights and all that jazz. Then they call my name.
“Rebecca. Thank you very much for your time in this show. (Then there is a log reality show pause) We ask that as this time you take your things. (Another even longer long pause) And go to your bed.” Now this causes huge fights, I through water on some Goth looking guy who is at least 18 inches taller then me who get pissed off that I’m in and he’s out. Security rushes me away to my bed and so begins the second saga of “Bed Rest”. Up next Trading Spaces, College Dorms.
Now I have no idea how I got in, even though I cheated, but it’s a dream it has no rules, really. That and my alarm went off just as Sarah Jessica Ricki was going to give the explanation to the upset viewers at home over the shows shocking decision.

31 days left...

2006-06-29T13:00:00.000-04:00

Usually, the first thing someone asks me when I tell them about this study I'm doing is, "What are they studying?" And I tell them. The second questions is almost always, "How do you go to the bathroom." And I tell them. The third question I won't mention, but it's usually asked by my male friends, and the answer is "probably not." Once it comes out that I won't be leaving the bed for 21-23 hours a day, they tell me that I'm crazy. It doesn't fail. Everybody tells me that I'm crazy for wanting to do this, and I think they're closed-minded for calling me crazy. There's really nothing special about me that enables me to believe I have all the will-power and stamina that this study will require. It's definitely going to be a challenge. But that's what's attractive to me about the whole thing. I'm going to learn things about myself that I might not be able to learn "in real life." Maybe it will take artificial circumstances to teach me something new. It's going to be a great experience that many people will never get, to take three months out of my life to get to know myself away from everything I normally do.

I have been trying to justify my choice to these people who think I'm crazy, but now it's getting exhausting. I'm too excited and too prepared to let that stuff into my mind.

adventure time!

2006-06-29T04:57:00.000-04:00

it's asscrackofdawn thirty, and we're having breakfast and getting out of here. whoo!

i've been needing a roadtrip for the longest time (last time was chicago at new years) and this is by far the longest trip i've ever taken where i'd also be driving.

and of course, mike is busting out the brand new video camera. hijinks will ensue, for sure.

no comment

2006-06-25T18:10:00.000-04:00

I was messing around with the blog, trying to find a way to make our names bigger at the end of each post so readers can tell who posted what, I came upon a bunch of comments that had been made by readers. I wasn't aware that I had to approve comments before they could be viewed on the blog, so apologies to those who commented and have not yet seen their comment posted.

sick sick sick

2006-06-23T17:12:00.000-04:00

I was supposed to have my cycle ergometer test this morning at 7:30, but was to sick to go. I felt bad about it too. I had spent the entire night coughing, I lost track of how many times I woke up heaving and looked at the red lights at my alarm clock flashing 1:00 am 2:00 am 3:00 am and so on. The whole time, even though my body was shaking because I was coughing so herd, I would think “I can still make it, I can do it.” Silly Becca. By 6:00 when my alarm went off, my face felt hollow, my entire body hurt like the dickens, and I knew I couldn’t make it. This test was going to be looking at my breathing for goodness sakes; my cold would no doubt skew the results. So, poor Ricki got a call on her cell phone from me bright and early, saying I can’t make it. She was so nice about the whole things it made me feel less bad about having to cancel my appointment.
I went to the doctor and I’m fine actually, just a virus. I have to let it runs its course, take a prescription a few times, rest and drink a lot of fluids. I needs to cut down on my soda intake anyway, otherwise the first week or two of the study are going to be painful.
I’m getting really excited about everything. Well about 90% excited and 10% scared shitless. This is a big fucking commitment that could change my life. I know once I get into bed I’ll be able to do it, some days are going to be hard, but I can do it.

shuttle launch

2006-06-23T13:26:00.000-04:00

next weekend is the florida/shuttle launch trip, with an added bonus: i get to see my brother! unbeknownst to me, he joined the navy, went through boot camp while i was doing the study, and is now stationed in south carolina. so we're stopping in charleston so i can see my newly enlisted and out of the house (and SIX FOOT TALL) brother.

so, anyone working down at kennedy or going to be down there for the launch, let me know if you want to meet up and chat! :-) (keith, i'm sure you'll be down there too! drop me a line by wednesday!)

right now mike's down in the driveway fixing up the van for the trip, and i'm in the middle of dyeing my hair.... but i won't tell you what color. just yet.

i found that tshirt at a thrift store, brand new! how perfect!

2006-06-15T22:40:00.000-04:00

I'm going to make a real post one of these days, but for now, this is all I have. Have a good day.

Another trip to the clinic

2006-06-14T00:04:00.000-04:00

Becca and I were in today, going over the handbook, which covers what we can and cannot do while in bed. We still haven't found out whether we will be exercising or not. The chance that I will be an exercise subject is 60/40, and the chance that Becca will exercise is 50/50. We're both hoping that we do get to exercise. If I do, I'll be in the best shape of my life. As it stands, I don't eat well and I don't exercise. In the study I'll be on a metabolic diet and, fingers crossed, I'll be exercising. Since the dietary staff will keep me within 3% of my weight at admission to the hospital, fat will turn into muscle and I could come out in great shape.

Becca should start updating soon. Stay tuned...

readjustment (or, post timequake apathy and those affected; or, someday you will be loved)

2006-06-12T23:34:00.000-04:00

somehow i got really bad at returning phone calls. and emails. regular letters. thank you notes. somehow i can't tell if it's tuesday or saturday. i lose weeks like pencils, like buttons (is that how it goes?) i forget my purse in funny places, in cars that aren't mine, in stores and bars and everyone else's home. i'm constantly exhausted and reminded that i'm tired, like today when i didn't get out of bed until almost two because i just needed to sleep. i am always tired and always late for everything, if i manage to go at all.

i'm suffering from what could only be described as "Post Timequake Apathy" (it's vonnegut, you should know this already, and if you don't, go get "timequake") and it's basically goes like this: the universe decided to zap everyone back from 2001 to 1991, and the entire world had no choice but to live the past ten years over again. imagine ten whole years of deja vu. we were still fully conscious of the fact that we were living, we just couldn't do anything different, anything else at all. when free will kicked in, people sprawled in the streets and crashed their cars and forgot how to live. kilgore trout, an unlikely hero, starts waking people up with what later is known as "kilgore's creed" : you were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do. i got so used to having a schedule handed to me, every day, it was so simple. you simply did things when the nurses came in and said "ok, it's time to..." and that was it. now i don't know what to do with my time, so often i do nothing at all.

i went back to working at the garage, three days a week, where people are really only impressed by the fact that i was on TV. except for brenda, who works in the actual playhouse and instead confided in me that she was an intellectual, but couldn't be one at work. i told her i could relate, and she gave me the name of a book that i should, no, needed to read. (it's saved in a pad of paper i was scribbling furiously in on... sunday.)

i also lost nearly all of my digital artwork that i made while i was in the study. one less accomplishment on my list. yes, the volta sound album artwork is gone too, three months and 12 feet of work, gone.

at this point what's worse, apathy or boredom?

Getting ready...

2006-06-08T14:52:00.000-04:00

In the midst of work, in the midst of filling out activity logs for Sarah and food menus for Ricki, I'm preparing to spend 84 days of my life in the horizontal position. I'm really really hoping that I am selected to exercise. If I am, I'll be getting a good workout, eating good meals and preserving my legs. I'll get out of bed in the best shape I've ever been in in my life, probably. If I don't exercise, however, I'll need a little bit of rehab to walk normally again. Even that seems like a small sacrifice. So, I'm okay with either one.

Before I go in, I'll have to move out of my apartment (my lease ends a month into the study), stash all my belongings in either a storage space or my parents' garage, get my finances situated, and who knows what else. I don't know if I've ever been more excited for anything.

7 more weeks...

More goals than the World Cup

2006-05-29T12:39:00.000-04:00

I've been working on my GOALS list for the study. I don't imagine it's a requirement, per se, that you have a goal for your time in bed. However, if someone was going to be lying on their back for 12 weeks and they had nothing to do, they would probably last about 6 hours. So I'm filling up my plate.

1. COMPLETE A ROUGH DRAFT OF A NOVEL
I've had this idea for a book that I want to write, but I could never really get focused on it while having to worry about work and bills and all the other things I do with my time. Hopefully, being unable to walk and having a computer in front of me will be the ideal circumstance for getting it done.

2. STUDY SCRABBLE
I've been playing Scrabble competitively for a little while now. While my vocabulary is decent, there are thousands of words that nobody has ever used in conversation, but are valid, and sometimes necessary, in Scrabble. Allow me to be a nerd for just a minute here:

In Scrabble, you have seven tiles on your rack at all times. To use all seven of these tiles to make one word is to BINGO. When you bingo, you get 50 bonus points added onto the score for the word itself. Somewhere along the line, someone with a ridiculous amount of time on his or her hands figured out a list of bingo stems. A stem is six letters that, when put with another letter, will make a seven-letter word. Obviously, if you have DFGUWXZ, you're not going to bingo. But, if you have the letters AEINRT on your rack, chances are good that the seventh letter will allow you to bingo. This is the RETINA stem. For example:

RETINA + D = ANTIRED, DETRAIN, TRAINED.
RETINA + G = GRANITE, GRATINE, INGRATE, TANGIER, TEARING.

So, once you memorize those stems (there are 100 of them altogether), you can manage your rack (play off the tiles that aren't in the stem, keep the ones that are) and ideally bingo every few turns.

My goal is to memorize the top 50 stems and the words they make. The 7-letter words that come from these stems are known as TYPE I. The 7-letter words that have high-probability letters in them (A,E,N, etc...) but do NOT come from these stems are known as TYPE II. It is also my goal to memorize all 1,586 of these as well.

3. READ 30 BOOKS.
I've been asking friends and strangers for book recommendations, and I have put together a list of 30 that I think I would like to read. With all this time on my hands, I hope to be able to make up for all the reading I had to put off due to other things I had going on in my life. 30 books, or 2.5 books a week, seems reasonable. Highlights of the list include:

Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller
I read Tropic of Cancer years ago and loved it, and I bought Capricorn soon after. I've started it several times but never stuck with it.

A People's History of the United States... by Howard Zinn
I bought the abridged Audiobooks version a few months ago for a drive to Columbus and back. Even with Matt Damon reading it, even with hugh chunks extracted, it was very interesting and made me wish I had paid closer attention in history class. For those unfamiliar with this book, it's a historical text that focuses on the "underdogs" in history, for lack of a better term. African-Americans, women, Native Americans, prisoners, anti-war protesters, etc. Anyway, it's a pretty lengthy read, but I think I can learn a lot from it.

I definitely want to have a few more goals before I go to bed. Aside from the goals I'm writing down (I have to submit a list to Ricki), I plan on growing a great beard, planning a vacation, keeping several different journals, and playing lots of Scrabble.

More testing this week... photos to come.

It's Official: I'm going to bed.

2006-05-23T22:12:00.000-04:00

So today during my Strength Test Set-up, the news arrived via Ricki: My DXA scan was good (my bone density is normal) and I am officially through screening. So I can officially start planning to spend 12 weeks in bed. I'm pretty excited.

Today I arrived for my DXA scan at about 9:20. Julia and Tessa took me down to the lab and I was in and out in about half an hour. The DXA machine, as Erin told me it would, sounded like an Atari. I actually fell asleep while I was lying on the table.

After the DXA, we went back to the GCRC (General Clinical Research Center?) for the Indirect Calorimetry test. This was to see how many calories I burn during a timed period of rest. So, basically, I was just lying motionless on a bed. I didn't have this photographed either, because eventually you'll get plenty of pictures of me lying in bed.

Then a physical with Dr. Lacata, and then the Cycle Ergometry. This was pretty much the same as last Friday's Bruce Treadmill Stress Test, but it was on a bike. I tired out much more quickly on the bike than on the treadmill, which was surprising, since I wasn't supporting my weight on the bike.

After lunch, we did the posture test. This involved me focusing on a certain point while standing on a force plate in the ground which measured my movements.

After that we practiced setting up for strength tests, but I'll post the pictures when we actually do those tests.

So, my homework before Friday is to make a list of goals I want to accomplish. Once I have that list completed, I'll post that here too. I have most of it figured out, but I want to make sure I can cram enough into these three months that I can stave off boredom as much as possible. I also have to fill out a food menu (foods I love, foods I like, foods I hate, etc.) and start filling out activity logs for Sara.

More soon...

how long, how long til we reach the bottom of the lake

2006-05-21T18:25:00.000-04:00

ok, it's finally sunday, and i have been pushing myself so hard to be able to do everything for myself since i got home that i can barely move today. but, i'm going back out tonight to the expecting rain show at the beachland... la la la... gotta try to get dressed and not look like crap ^_^.... i really relaly overdid it and barely moved for most of today. ow.

Screening Part 2: CONQUERED.

2006-05-19T17:28:00.000-04:00

Would it be strange to say that I had a good time today at the Clinic? I arrived at about 10:30am and by 11:00am I was weightless. Ricki said that all test subjects have to be suspended once during the screening process to ensure that they don't "freak out." Personally, I can't see how anyone could be the least bit uncomfortable. I can't recall a time when I felt more relaxed.

After that, Sara explained the proper procedure for wearing and removing the Pedar. This is a little computer a bit larger than a palm pilot that will monitor the pressure that I put on my feet for four days. With the data collected from those four days, Sara will be able to determine how much exercise I should do, should I be selected and assigned as an exerciser. The Pedar is small enough, but it's powered by a pack which contains 10 D-cell batteries. If you can remember the last time you used D-cells in anything, you might recall that they are not light.

Then I had lunch. Cobb salad.

After lunch, we went to the GCRC for the Treadmill Stress Test. I didn't ask exactly what was determined from this process, but one thing was painfully obvious: I am very pale. For a short while, it was thought that I might have to shave my chest so Melanie could put the EKG leads on me. But then, once my shirt was off, she said, "You're hairy in just the right places that I don't have to shave you." It was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while.

The treadmill test was made up of three-minute intervals, each with an increase in speed and incline. I don't really exercise much, so I was expecting 15 minutes on the treadmill to kill me. I did fairly well though, according to Melanie, and all that hurt afterward were my calf muscles.

Last on the list was a meeting with Dr. Muzita (sp?), the psychiatrist. He was a really nice guy, and brought up some points I hadn't thought of in my whole "mind-over-matter" approach to the study. Due to doctor-patient confidentiality I will refrain from listing them here, but I will say that I believe I am mentally prepared for this. Of course, I haven't laid down yet, but I like to think that I've considered everything. I'm sure there are countless things I haven't realized yet that I'll learn in the first couple of weeks in the study. Erin has gleefully accepted the position of "guru" for these matters. More testing on Tuesday... I'm honestly excited.

graced with guts and gutted with grace

2006-05-18T22:19:00.000-04:00

oh yes, to daniel in connecticut:

i cannot thank you enough for the e.e. cummings book.

there's no place like home

2006-05-18T21:55:00.000-04:00

oops. forgot the CD of pictures and other files off the laptop at the clinic. oh well. i'll be back there tomorrow for rehab and a visit with george, who's going through more of the screening process.

the flickr account has been upgraded to pro, so all of my pictures are visible. i'll be handing off the passwords to these to george and becca too. (ps, becca, do you need a second invite? i was wondering if something got messed up the first time. let me know!)

i will also be buying a domain name, probably in the next week or so, but i'm not entirely sure about how to integrate a blogger site into a site, which hosts are good and which aren't. any recommendations on where to buy the name and where to host, please email me. also, does anyone know if it's possible to be hosting two different blogger blogs on the same domain? so we could have seperate blogs but as subdomains for the same place? ie, stardustholiday.com/erin or stardustholiday.com/george or whatever else. i think that would be pretty cool.

i'm finally home, kicking back and having a couple beers. it's been a long strange three months, but let me tell you: it's good to be home. it is damned good to be home.

it's been a long couple of days.

2006-05-18T12:26:00.000-04:00

ok, thursday now, i've had zero internet access and 500 million things (exaggeration) to take care of. exhausted? yes. happy? absolutely.

i have about 100 pictures (not an exaggeration) from the past few days, so when i get home (TONIGHT! I'M GOING HOME TONIGHT!!!) i'll start with photo posts and explaining what it is that i've been doing for three days.

ok, back to it! -whew-

Books: Check 'em out!

2006-05-16T15:07:00.000-04:00

Erin's probably pretty busy right now, so I'll go ahead and point out that the Seed Magazine piece on the study is up.

I'm currently making a list of goals that I hope to accomplish, should I make it through screening and into bed. My plan is to give myself more goals than I can possibly knock out, even with three months of time on my hands. Hopefully this will keep time from dragging. Anyway, among those goals is to read 30 books. That's two and a half books a week. So, if any readers of this blog would be so kind as to recommend their favorite book to me, I could always use suggestions. Please e-mail them to me at gcviebranz@hotmail.com. Thanks!

post bedrest day 2

2006-05-16T09:06:00.000-04:00

yes! i'm still alive! standing up hurts like a bitch, but i love being semi-independent again. sorry for the short post, i just wanted to let everyone know that i'm doing well and i'll be back to blogging. i'm waiting for the hotel car right now to take me over for a full day of strength testing, MRIs and the works. but i'm doing alright, and i've got about 50 million pictures coming soon.

i made it!

30 degrees

2006-05-15T08:26:00.000-04:00

first sitting up in 12 weeks.... wow. i haven't "gone white" yet, so i'm doing alright. i feel a little shaky and really disoriented, but doing well so far.
and this is how long my hair has gotten in three months. and yea i look crosseyed, we were having problems with the camera and i was focused on it for too long >_<

more pictures as the morning progresses, but i don't know if i'll be able to post them. it's going to get pretty crazy after 9ish.

I'd like to walk around in your mind.

2006-05-15T00:17:00.000-04:00

Went to the Cleveland Clinic again today. I went to see Erin in all her antsy glory, less than 24 hours to go. I can't speak for her, but the last three months have gone by pretty quickly for me. Then again, I've been out and about, working, playing Scrabble, watching Curb Your Enthusiasm DVDs and visiting the Wi-Fi spots of the greater Cleveland area. I'm hoping that my time in bed doesn't go by quite as fast, but doesn't drag either. There's a lot I want to accomplish and I don't want the time to get away from me.

On my way through the tunnel from the parking garage to the main hospital building, I saw an older woman walking slowly, flanked by what I could assume to be her children. She was crying, saying, "Help me, Lord Jesus!" It was really pretty jarring. Every time I've come into this hospital for study-related purposes, I've been kind of high on excitement. I'd always forgotten that this was a hospital, and that there were people in here that are in the middle of some pretty trying situations. Not that the NASA study isn't trying, but it's going to be a highly positive experience. Everyone involved stands to gain a lot on many levels.

Apparently there are volunteers at the Clinic whose main purpose is to keep the study participants company. I met one of them today, a really nice girl named Suzanne. We talked for a bit. Erin turned her into a knitter, and I'm going to turn her into a serious Scrabble player.

Although, I can't go talking like I'm already in, because I'm not... more screening on Friday, and still a ways to go after that...

tickertape parade

2006-05-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

last. night. in. bed.

i won't be able to sleep, i know that much.

mike finished emptying out my room today, the walls are bare and depressing. my money tree is still here, the first plant that came into my room, and the last plant to leave. there are still odds and ends here and there, mike is coming back with the empty suitcase to pack up my clothes for my move to the hotel.

i am so ANXIOUS! argh!

i have a tickertape going through my head and all it says is "get out of bed" over and over and over.

so today was mother's day, and i bought my presents through holly (kiss kiss! thank you so much for the discount hookup) so those should be out shortly. and the hospital food service staff likes to do nice things on holidays, so there was a little basket of hershey's freaking kisses on my lunch tray. OMG EVIL EVIL EVIL! so tammy put them up on the ledge where my animal parade used to be and said "when you can reach them, you can have them".... fair enough. i really want to get up and grab them now, but i'm pretty sure i'd be a crumpled heap on the floor.

dr cavanagh was in on thursday with a present..... a box of malley's chocolates. i'm going to devour that in .... ok, i won't do it in one sitting. but wow, am i ever going to tear into that. no chocolate for three months. wow. but the reason he came in on thursday is because he was leaving for england later that day. he's giving a talk about diabetic foot issues on monday, err, tomorrow in london. so he won't be here, i'm disappointed, but i'll still be getting out of bed tomorrow!

george came in and we played quite possibly the geekiest game of scrabble EVER. we couldn't lay out a board without it being a bit of a hassle, so he brought his laptop, got onto the CCF public wireless network, and we played internet scrabble.

suzanne, who has been an inspiration to me during the later part of the study (and a fellow bedrester, although hers was mandatory) brought in a card and a scarf that she made herself. she taught herself how to crochet from one of those kits that a part of the proceeds go to breast cancer research and made me a pink scarf! amazing, considering that four weeks ago she was struggling like a madwoman with casting on her knitting.

i also taught the lab's summer student intern how to knit on thursday, hurrah! what's the count up to now?

i have a lot of thoughts and reflections on 12 weeks of bedrest, but right now, my brain is focused on one thing, and that is getting out of this bed tomorrow morning. i am so excited it hurts. philosophical reflections will have to wait for a couple days while i get over the insanity of getting out of bed and all of the post bedrest testing that needs to get done before i get my earth legs back.

ok, ok! i should be sleeping now. but wow, i'm too excited. valium has had zero effect. the tickertape of the unconscious is still going : i'm getting out of bed tomorrow, i'm getting out of bed tomorrow, i'm getting out of bed tomorrow.

I MADE IT!

today is officially media insanity day.

2006-05-12T15:50:00.000-04:00

started off with "can you do a live phone interview tonight? it's for a canadian television station".... uh, sure.

the NASA interview was a lot of fun, Jan came down to my suspension (which i might mention is MY LAST ONE EVER) and interviewed me there, goofing off a little bit and having a good time. got a lot of pictures, hopefully some turn out :-D someone mentioned that the canadian TV station was actually canada's MTV. -boggles- cool!

when we got back to my room, my cell phone had voicemail and about five minutes into the rest of the interview, my phone was ringing again. MTV. asked them to call back, finished the interview with jan, checked messages and it was david, the reporter from seed magazine. called him back, and he wanted to talk to george and then mike too. so i put those phone calls in and got that set up, hope everything worked out with that. and as soon as i got off the phone with david, MTV called back about getting permission to use the flickr photos.

phew! SO MTV is calling me back right after my massage. insane.

massage time for me. head's going spinny on me.

you can tell by my smile that i'm a child

2006-05-11T22:17:00.000-04:00

it was mail day today!

mystery box arrived during suspension today. didn't bother waiting for scissors, tore it open myself. -squeeeeeeee!-

contents:

devendra banhart - cripple crow (the one i didn't own! whooo! hasn't left my laptop disc drive yet. i am in LOVE.)
kurt vonnegut, jr - welcome to the monkey house. (certainly not to be confused with the AWFUL dandy warhols records that regrettably has the same name. what the hell happened to "dandy's rule, ok?" ugh!)

and.............
e.e. cummings. - complete poems 1904 -1962.

thank you daniel s. of CT!!!

my DVD of the CNN stuff also came in the mail, thanks kate!

now i have to figure out how to copy it so my mom can have a copy.

ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. holy cow. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. lemme out of here!! ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ack! ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. ANTSY. NOW!

from my head to my toes to my knees to my eyes, every time i watch the skies....

2006-05-11T12:14:00.000-04:00

apparently a mystery box showed up at my apartment yesterday. mike thought it was so important that he called me in the middle of my massage to ask me if he could open it or not. he was so excited. such a little kid sometimes. -grin- i felt weird talking on the phone when i was getting a massage. very hollywood.

i told him no, i wanted to open it. i vaguely and halfassed-ly threatened him with mail tampering and hung up the phone. so he's bringing it out today. but he said it's HEAVY. like... his six year old went to pick it up to "help out" and couldn't. -bounce!- i can't wait to see what's in it.

Hopeful

2006-05-11T00:54:00.000-04:00

Greetings. My name is George. I'm 25 years old and from the greater Cleveland area. As a hopeful test subject, Erin has invited me to join this blog. I'm not very far into screening, but I already find myself with a lot to write about.

In early February, I was at an art gallery that a friend of mine owned. I was going to play music that night with another guy named Mike. Erin was there, and at that point we were distant acquaintances. "Your name is Erin, right?" I asked. Through a friendly "What's up?" I learned about the study she was about to go into. Something about getting paid to lay in bed. At first it sounded like one of those "SMOKE WEED - GET PAID" ads on the back page of Free Times, but I wanted to hear more about it. As she described the conditions and reasons for the study, it started to sound very strange. I thought to myself that Erin must be completely batty for even thinking of wanting to do this. But as I walked around for the rest of the night, and even when I was playing, I couldn't really stop thinking about it. I asked her more questions periodically through the remainder of the night, and it began to sound more and more like something I might want to do. By the time I started driving home, I was obsessed with it. Lying in bed for three months and getting paid. Three months of time to myself. Time to write, time to read, time to reflect.

I met with Erin again to talk more about it. She showed me the paperwork that went along with the study, and I gained a better understanding of the whole study. I began to weigh my reasons for wanting to do this. I called Ricki, the woman in charge of the study, and talked to her about becoming a test subject. I was still on the fence, and it was a high one. This would either be the opportunity of a lifetime, or it would be my entryway into insanity. One night, unable to fall asleep, throwing all of it around in my mind, I determined that I could not do this. There was no way. But even after making a decision, I couldn't forget about it.

Once Erin was in the Clinic, I decided to come visit, to see how she was dealing with everything, and to see how the study ran. I went with her to suspension and met some of the people attached. Everyone was courteous and kind beyond belief. These people were really passionate about what they were involved with. Standing there, watching Erin hang from those cords, I made up my mind: I was going to go for it.

So now, weeks later, I am in the midst of the screening process. My fingers are constantly crossed, but I'm also trying not to get my hopes up. I think about this a lot, maybe more than I should. So hopefully, I will someday be updating this blog from my back. But there's a lot to come between now and then.

don't you miss it, don't you miss it at all?

2006-05-10T22:35:00.000-04:00

i'm sorry there haven't been a whole lot of posts lately. i'm very anxious to get out of bed though! the muscle biopsy did go a lot better, which i was really happy about. after three days i'm almost completely back to normal.

i've also been really busy kicking a personal community into high gear. they have an event coming up and have been hemming and hawing about EVERYTHING. i finally got frustrated and said something. hoping something helps.

i'm also thinking of buying a flickr pro account, because i didn't realize only 200 pictures would be shown. i have WAY more than 200 pictures. gah.

also: started making origami fish for a litle project of mine. fun. ^_^

i can hear and smell the rain, and oh god i miss spring. i can't wait to get out of here!! seriously. i'm done.

ps: yes, i am screwing with the template again. bear with me.

i don't usually do this

2006-05-10T16:17:00.000-04:00

in fact, i've never done this. but i think this is unfortunately, an accurate picture of our president. i think everyone should watch this and realize that he's a puppet, and doesn't actually know anything about running a country.

if this war's ever over, if it ever runs out, maybe then we could think about travel

2006-05-09T20:29:00.000-04:00

a lot of people have asked about the biopsy, and it went much better than the first time. an extra (deeper) shot of lidocaine did the trick. i'm doing a lot better, i can already bend my knee up to my chest, so i'm set and ready to go.

but, due to a little computer mixup, i'm on cloud nine and kindof passing out. so that's all for today.

i guess i was on the news tonight? i didn't watch cuz i wasn't really paying attention. i don't even know when the news AIRS anymore. don't care.

light me with your candle and watch the flames grow high

2006-05-08T23:05:00.000-04:00

Keith's screen grab of the CNN feature on friday...

...and put on the HUGE screen at the International Space Developers Conference. Buzz Aldrin and Bill Nye the Science Guy were key speakers. How cool is that?

Keith also sent me audio of the mention I got at the conference. I'm going to try to edit that down tonight or tomorrow and save it as a smaller format and try to post it here.

and as I told him tonight:

...it feels wonderful to get recognition for something that started out as "hey, I think I might want to do this study" and then devoted ... well, my entire life to this for three months. Most of all, I hope this gets more volunteers to sign up for the study.

I'm done fighting with the template. I'll do more tomorrow, if I'm not totally swamped on the interview front. Tomorrow is Fox8 and .... Seed Magazine.

who knows? explain.

2006-05-08T22:18:00.000-04:00

working on this new one from francey.org. and yes, this time i'll check it in IE. (YUCK. get firefox already.)

little yellow spider walking in the snow

2006-05-08T21:02:00.000-04:00

quickie:

i didn't realize a subscription would be required to see the financial times article. ugh. i can't even read the rest of the article myself.

other media updates (hold on tight, here it comes):

->CNN will be back next week, they'll be taping me getting out of bed, and then another live interview wednesday or thursday.
->Daily Mail (UK) wants to use me as an example for a piece "about unusual experiences that people have endured in the name of medical science." far out. -grin-
->seed magazine wants to do an interview with me tomorrow. (online sci-tech magazine. i looked around, pretty sweet stuff)
->and something about fox8 news being here tomorrow. -shrug- eh? natalie asked about it today and i was like, sure, i'm game.

phew. this is my last week in bed and it is going to be BUSY.

and:

to fix the IE issues with CSS (-grumble- haven't you gotten firefox yet?) I'm going to be reverting to a blogger template until I can figure out the problem. bleh.

evil elvis, good afternoon

2006-05-08T09:38:00.000-04:00

bleh... in about an hour and a half i have the second muscle biopsy for the study. ugh, yuck. i hurt just thinking about it. it's quite possibly the worst pain i've ever been in. EVER. and i'm putting myself through it again. they said i can refuse it right up until he actually puts the needle in. in the end, that would make the first biopsy completely pointless, and i would have put myself through all that pain for nothing. they have to compare before and after, right? with nothing to compare the first one two, the first one is completely worthless. so that's why i'm going to go through with it. better to feel it twice and there be a benefit for science than to feel it once for no reason at all.

ok, to make myself feel better, a little devendra banhart

Well the end of May
The middle of June
They'll be coming home
Sooooooon

Soon is good
But sooner is best

Surgery I stole from you
Surgery you stole from me
Have believe in apathy
Orange tree could be all a dream
All that I have seen of him
His money is such a lucky sin
Your eyes see sweet but your mouth tastes tin
The toothbrush is black
That's the place where you're at
And a snake holds the knife
And a snake holds a knife
All I see brings you close to me
All I do brings me close to you
Summer snake dance for dance's sake
Into faraway, into faraway, faraway
Into faraway

did i mention i was in love?

wow.

CNN video

2006-05-07T13:57:00.000-04:00

almost forgot! friday night i was the number one most watched free video on CNN.com! the video's still there, if you find the section on science/technology videos. -grin-

and i saw for myself, he's a gentle soul

2006-05-07T13:38:00.000-04:00

jay's making art noises on the vinyl chair.
when in doubt, go for fart jokes. they'll never fail.

craig and nick
and this is hilarious. carrie was scratching jay's head, and i mentioned that my nails had gotten super long since coming in here (i'm not out smashing them into things and breaking them, so they finally get a chance to grow out) so carrie handed head scratching over to me. and then craig got into it. and for about five minutes, they both were half passed out. i should start charging. really

saturday afternoon

2006-05-07T13:21:00.000-04:00

craig (L) and jay. fuzzy picture.

craig and jay again. happened to catch a really random clear picture of jay making kissy faces at craig. not sure what that was about.

nick wanted his picture taken while he was picking his ear. not sure why.

for some reason i could not get a clear shot of carrie. sorry!

lisa was in here too, but i forgot to take pictures. she brought some lovely flowers, and now my camera batteries are dead and i -can't- take pictures! boo. they're beautiful and smell really nice too.

tulip power?

2006-05-06T22:13:00.000-04:00

i'm not sure how this ended up the number one google image hit for "tulip" but .... wow.

lots of pictures from today, but they'll have to wait til tomorrow. i'm working on album art again. -grin-

stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

2006-05-06T14:22:00.000-04:00

the Financial Times piece is up! this is a quick snippet, the rest is at the link above!

Flat out at work
By Erin Peterson and Catherine Neilan
Published: May 5 2006 17:29

I was online, looking for a new job, and came across a link saying “Get paid to stay in bed!” I didn’t think it was for real, but it was: a Nasa-sponsored bed-rest study into what happens to bone density and muscles during long periods of weightlessness. It’s really expensive to send people into space, but lying in bed with my head slightly lower than my body simulates microgravity, so space researchers can see - in a Cleveland, Ohio, hospital room - how my body adapts.

/edit: i didn't realize a subscription was required. ugh. i can't even read the rest of the article myself.