second thoughts

last night i had my first real "freakout" about this study. all of a sudden (unfortunately right in the middle of a really amazing set by henry james) i started worrying that it was going to be like high school all over again.

my mom sent me to live in new mexico with relatives after my freshman year of high school, and everyone was completely different when i got back. this is actually a longer period of time (i was in new mexico 2 months, i'll be 3 months+ rehabilitation for this study) but i know this isn't high school anymore, it was just a past experience versus unknown territory flip out.

i talked to ricki (the study coordinator at the cleveland clinic) and she said that there ARE going to be days where i just want to get up and leave. but that she was going to be around, the nurses, the doctors, the lab staff, the volunteers, my friends, etc..... they're all going to be around to help me out with this. it's my entire life for three months. and that can be a little overwhelming. but i've got a big support network around me and things are gonna be alright.