stardust holiday
chronicles of the chronically (and voluntarily) bedridden

day six (lonely weekends)

25 February 2006
i've got nothing against nurses. but i'm kind of sick of them being pretty much the only people i see all day. mike has been in here every day, but i doubt i'm going to see him tomorrow, sounds like things are pretty busy. it gets lonely in here, i can only drown out so much, i can only read so much. i miss people. i miss leia and henry, erica, holly, mike a, ben, eric..... to name a few among many. i miss my friends and i've yet to hear from even a third of them. and that was mostly posts in online forums saying "hey! look! i'm over here now!"


i had a major "what the FUCK am i doing here" moment last night. i just thought "this is a bad dream, i'm going to wake up soon and i'll be at home." or this is what a coma feels like. something.i'm not used to being so confined, so limited in my movements. maybe i should have considered this a little more before committing to something like this. i'm not going to quit, but i'm not feeling that great about everything right now either. nor with the friends situation.

i'm trying to stay positive but that is obviously proving to be a little more difficult than i imagined. it doesn't help that it LOOKS like i'm crying all the time because my eyes won't stop watering (my tear ducts are upside down)

ass-tastic is the word of the day. and i'm feeling it all over.

-sigh-hopefully the sun comes in my window a little more today.
11:34 :: :: permalink
  • I'm pretty sure some people are paying attention. Consider you are almost 1/12th of the way through! And you are not the only person in the world who knows what it means to feel a little trapped and a little lonely.

    Perhaps some of the people who care the most are the people you like the least. Contemplate that a little and we may have more to talk about.

    Anyway, you'll get through it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 14:02  
  • I know it seems hard right now, and I'm still trying to figure out if it is the thing for me to do. Your what the fuck moments are expected and will come and go through out this.
    You can do it!

    By Blogger Becca, at 16:08  
Post a Comment
<< Home