first, the bad news. the friend that i mentioned being in jail, well, they don't seem to be letting him out for work release or anything. he's going to lose all of his clients and basically get screwed on this whole thing. sucks. he's going to have to completely rebuild his life. he's a really nice guy, and i'm completely convinced that if he HADN'T gotten thrown in jail, he'd be out here at least every once in awhile to keep me company. and when that time comes (probably around september) i want to be prepared to help him out however we can.
more bad news: i'm NOT HUNGRY. and coming in and telling me to eat every hour (and probably more) is not going to help. food is already fairly boring (sorry, food team, but it's not mike's cooking! -grin-) and at the third time through already, it's getting pretty old pretty fast. i'm getting there though, i've survived it this long.
and even more bad news: i've been in here a FULL MONTH and none of the band (save for jay, and mike, of course) has come to see me. seriously, like, wtf. must be a serious case of "out of sight, out of mind". no phone calls, no emails, no nothing. in fact, i haven't heard anything from the whole of the collective, save for eric s, and i'm giving him a break on the visits because he's without car. but i at least hear from him. i think mike kind of made a point last night (maybe?)... when people see him, they ask about me, because that seems to be the only time they realize i'm not around: when mike's out and i'm not. otherwise they don't even think about it. definitely an "oh, i see how it is" scenario. i realize that people are busy and that when they have time to hang out with friends, they'd rather do it in a scene where they can drink beer, relax, and hang out with ten friends instead of one friend who is in a hospital room, no beer, no food, etc etc. but honestly, i can't imagine that everyone has been SO busy that not a single fucking one of them could come out and visit. how frustrating.
i'm letting it go, though. i've made it this far without any support from the collective, and i suppose it's indicative of the state of things around here. carry on and rise above. it's not arrogance, merely the acceptance of the circumstances. it's sad, but there's not much to be done unless i want to start guilting them into coming around, which isn't my style. i will probably get frustrated from time to time, but after the halfway mark? i'll forget it completely.
i suppose that's some of the good news too, that i've finally given up on waiting for them to come around. they can't/won't come to me, i can't go to them now, and i probably just won't when i get out.
good news part two: the check from my matured CD finally came in. i can finally start my own investing at my own bank under my own power. that feels great, thanks. it also gives us a little more of a cushion during the time i'm in the hospital and not making any money. and gives mike the freedom to buy a car when he needs to. (which will probably be sooner rather than later, because we had to junk the saturn, it was dead, and the rabbit's soon to follow -cries-) also, leia's going to need the second payment for the saturn. yes, the one that was just junked. -sigh- oh well, it got us around for seven months. -shrug- just haven't had good luck with cars lately.
good news part three: they're changing my menu a little bit. trying to get some more fat and calories into it. more taste hopefully, too. -grin-
and the best news of all?
it looks like our junkyard-backyard having ignorant redneck downstairs neighbors are moving out. (did i get enough adjectives in there? i did? good. they're 100 times worse.) mike went home today and the back yard was cleaned out. apartment downstairs empty. i hope this is the end of all that awful, awful madness.
i'm all news-ed out.
and i should be asleep. bleh.
now playing: blur - coffee and TV, from 13.
oh, we can start all over again...
well gosh darn. i'd be there every single day harrassing you and keeping you company. I know how you feel ... sort of. Being home and pregnant beyond belief keeps me from going anywhere ... and nobody ... NOBODY comes to visit except my mother. If it wasn't for Chris I'd go entirely nutty. It's cold in here. Anyway. You should come out and visit when you get out. I haven't seen you in a long time and I miss you terribly.By , at 00:48
ugh, it really sucks that they havn't been around. You are dealing w/ it *way* better than I would.By Kat, at 15:57
Hugs chickie .. what you are doing is important and brave IMO.
hey there Chica!By marie, at 03:50
Not only am I feeling better, I actually got PART of my VA money this week so I not only have groceries -- I even have GASOLINE for the 90 mile round trip ... w00t!!!
Let me know what your schedule is like the rest of the week or early next week...